Thursday, December 31, 2009

Wow! Fun! Excitement!

So the post before this one was meant to be posted yesterday, but for some reason, it wouldn't send.

I had a GREAT time with lil b yesterday! We went for a short coffee, and because I didn't have much time, and we were both antsy to play, we headed to the sleeper bunk of my truck. I gave her a little bit of a play belt strapping while fingering her soaking cunt, and lil b had a couple orgasms at my hand. I did try to take my lil one's ass for the first time, but, lol, she definitely needs a bit more training! She did NOT enjoy it whatsoever! However there was much fucking, and sucking and cuddling. Very nice.

My future shop gift cards were used yesterday, and I purchased a new laptop!!! WOOT WOOT!! So last night, we had a webcam chat too!! Soooo fun! It was the very first time I'd ever got to do that!! Lol, even though there was no sound, we had some laughs, and got to see each others cats, it was just an all around good day. I will be asking for a day off of work, so we can have a night together in Jan.

I hope everyone has a wonderful new years eve, and be safe out there peeps, don't drink and drive!!

"New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights."


- Hamilton Wright Mabie

Surprise!!!

Woot woot, I get to meet lil b right away! I ended up getting sent down to Calgary to do some work, and it just so happens that we can meet! Will fill ya'll in after!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Worries...

So, I'm not sure how to start this entry. It feels like I have so much to say, and no words to get it all out. I got to have a short chat with lil b today, and she kinda off hand mentioned that she's only ever seen me 3 times, and its been a month since we've started seeing each other. I could tell in her voice, she was down. I don't know if depressed is the right word, but sadness was there. It hurts me to know that its my fault she's feeling this way. We haven't had the chance to have a real talk about my work, and the fact that it keeps me away all the time. She did know about it, and she even mentioned once, that it might be a good thing we don't see each other all the time so she doesn't get the feeling of being smothered. It seemed like yesterday, when we talked about her running and her stop smoking plan, that everything was great, and she is genuinely excited to show me, and prove to herself that she has the inner strength to conquer some demons and reach some lofty goals she's set for herself.

I miss her so much, and if she feels like I do, I understand why sadness has crept into her. The only reason I've been able to keep it out, is the thought that I'll see her again soon.

The other part of this that worries me, is that, when she opened up to me about her past, and how difficult that was for her to do, she made me promise two things. One, that after that night, I wouldn't bring it up in conversation again. And two, that after, she would try and close up and pull away again. And I promised her that I wouldn't let that happen. I think, that may be happening now, and when we talked for that little while, she was pretty reluctant to tell me how she was feeling. I have a pretty good idea, tho.

Because lil b has difficulty communicating her feelings, and expressing her emotions to me verbally, I've been working on trying to understand her better by reading between the lines a bit. I still am going to be consistent in trying to teach her to open up, and we may need to have a conversation about this later, but that's a whole different conversation. I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination at reading her, but I knew something was bothering her, and this seemed the most logical conclusion.

If I were to guess, I would say, she feels lonely. Lonely not only because I can't always be with her when she needs me, but also because I can't always be there on the phone. I think she feels this way because, I share those feelings. I hate that I have to do the job I do sometimes. I want her to feel cared for, to feel protected, to feel like she has me to be her support when she needs it, and that she has my full attention whenever and wherever she needs it. But the stresses and pressures of my career, keep me from being there whenever she needs me.

I want to tell her that I am going to keep on trying with everything I have, to be the best Dom, lover, and most importantly, close friend and confidant I can be for her. I don't plan on giving up on her, and I pray that she still doesn't want me to.


"I am responsible. Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself."

? - Walter Anderson

Monday, December 28, 2009

Runnin on empty, edit....

So, we made a small change, on the first of every month, instead of adding time to the two running sessions, each month she'll just be adding another 10 min session. So in Feb she'll do 3, 10 minute runs with a 1 min break between each, March 4, and April 5.

Runnin on empty....

So for lil b's running schedule, she has given me a starting place, and a goal for her to strive for.

She wants to try and run 3 times a week, 20 minutes of running split into 10 minutes, a 1 min break, and another 10 min. By the end of the summer, her goal is 50 min total. So I'm going to lay out a schedule for her, a punishment and reward system similar to the smoking one. She wants me to be firm with these instructions, both on the smoking and this one, to keep her on track.

Because I have faith in my lil one, the punishments in this plan will be serious as well, but I want to give her some leeway at the beginning to get her into it first.

So without further ado...

Week 1 and 2 (Jan 1st to Jan 15): lil b will be running 3 times a week, but because it may be tough to start with, as long as she does the full 20 min, I won't be a stickler on pattern. If she needs to do it in 5 min spurts, that's ok these first 2 weeks. However, if she is unable to do the full 20 min, she earns a belt strapping for an uninterrupted 5 minutes.

If for some reason she misses a one day in the first 2 weeks, as long as she asks permission, she may miss 1 day. That will be her only chance to skip, so I hope she uses it wisely if she needs to. If in the first 2 weeks she misses a day without permission, or misses one on top of the one she asks for, she gets the same 5 min strapping, but she also gets a full enema and she has to hold it in with the medium butt plug for 10 minutes while standing in the corner.

If she makes it the whole 2 weeks without earning punishment for running AND smoking, she will get the reward laid out in the smoking schedule. I will mention now, that all rewards I've put in place for smoking, will only be earned if she doesn't earn punishments from both schedules.

Week 3 (Jan 15th to Jan 21st): Now, she must do the 20 min in 2, 10 minute increments. If she has to take a break in the 10 min, she receives 25 swats with the thin, whippy metal rod on her breasts. If she doesn't do the full 20 min, she earns the 5 min strapping and the enema. If she misses a day, she gets all three, the rod, the strapping and the enema.

Week 4 (Jan 22nd to Jan 31st): lil b only has to do 3 runs this week, but she will be given extended rest to make up for the short month of Feb coming up where she will have less time to do the same amount of runs. The punishment laid out for week 3 will be the same throughout her running schedule, so I won't repeat it every time. However, on the first of every month, 10 minutes will be added to her daily total required running time, so in Feb she will have to do 2, 15 minute runs, equaling 30 min a day. March 20 minutes, twice, coming to 40 min, and in April 25 min twice, to reach her goal of 50 min.

Little b will continue through to June 1st doing 50 min, at which point we will re-asses and see if she wants to go longer.

I am going to make a few rules here and now as well, first, if she is sick or there is a family tragedy, or she's hurt, or any other unforeseen situation that prevents her from running, its forgiven. As long as she records her missed time and makes it up on other runs. It doesn't have to be all at once, but it has to be made up sometime before June 1st. If for some reason, she decides its too tough, and either needs to cut the time short for a while, or any other change, she will be SEVERELY punished after we discuss her reasons and decide on a new schedule. I don't know what it will be, but it would be along the lines of the last 3 days of her quit smoking schedule. If she decides to quit, and end everything, she may, but not only would she be punished like I mentioned above, I would be very disappointed in her.

Finally, once a week, I want a blog post from her. Describing how the running and the stop smoking plan is going. I want it to include all the times she messes up(if she does) and the punishment that has been earned, and also any comments she has about how things are going with the schedules, etc. Almost like a running/stop smoking weekly journal. The posts are to come on the last day of each scheduled week.

I think that's everything. I also reserve the right to make additions or changes, as needed, and all changes will be discussed with lil b prior to implementation.

Fingers crossed lil one! I know you can do it!

Mulligan cont..

Lol, hit send instead of save....the rest continues

and she may have one of the pieces of jewelry she wanted.

Week 3: a full body massage, and her choice of dinner anywhere in Calgary.

Week 4: She has earned her tattoo if she goes all of Jan smoke free.

I will do another post about her running schedule, shortly.

Mulligan!

Well, lil b has decided she's going to try and quit smoking again, and she wants me to try and help again. Also, she has decided that she wants to start a running schedule. She has already decided on her schedule and goals, and again, its something she feels, I may be able to help motivate her to stay on track.

So we're going go for a "do over." In this part of the post, I will be outlining a punishment/reward schedule as part of her stop smoking plan. Lil b wants to do this cold turkey again, and feels that she will be able to stick with it this time. So, as mentioned above, here's the punishment side of her schedule:

Starting Jan 1st,

Week 1(Jan 1st to Jan 7th): Any full cigarettes smoked by lil b, will earn her 5 uninterrupted minutes with the wooden spoon. All punishments that include "uninterrupted time" will be hard, fast strokes, with no breaks or stoppage in between. If she earns more than one session, there will be a 2 minute rest between sessions.

Any drags, or "halfies" will earn her 3 uninterrupted minutes with the wooden spoon.

Week 2 (Jan 8th to Jan14th): Any full cigarettes will be 5 uninterrupted min with the spoon, and she will pose for 3 photos of my choice, to be posted here. All photos will keep her anonymity, but they will be in any state of undress I choose, and also may include her performing any sexual or taboo act I choose.

Any drags or "halfies" will be 3 uninterrupted min with the spoon, and one photo of my choice to be posted here.

Week 3 (Jan 15th to Jan21st): Any full cigarettes earn 5 uninterrupted min with the spoon, 3 photos of my choice to be posted here, and 1 webcam broadcast to just me, for any length I choose, where she will be directed to perform, in any state of undress I choose, any and all sexual or taboo acts I want.

Any drags or "halfies" will earn 3 uninterrupted min with the spoon, 1 photo of my choice to be posted here, and 1 photo of my choice to be posted on HER blog.

Week 4 (Jan 22 to Jan 29th): Any full cigarettes will earn her 5 uninterrupted min with the spoon, 3 photos of my choice to be posted here, the 1 webcam broadcast just to me, and she will choose 1 person in her kink friendly circle of friends willing to help, to give her ANNOTHER 5 uninterrupted min with an implement of their choosing, from a set list chosen by me, after receiving her first 5 min from me. This person can be anyone she chooses, however, this person may be present when I take the 3 photos for the blog if they wish, and if they want, may participate.

Any drags or "halfies" will earn her 3 uninterrupted min with the spoon, 1 photo for my blog, one photo for hers, and the 3 min with the spoon will be filmed(keeping anonymity) to be posted on "spanking tube dot com"

The end of the month: for her final 3 days in Jan, ANY tobacco use at all will earn her the combined punishments for week 4. All time with the spoon will be filmed for spanking tube.

At the end of January we will re-assess her situation and decide if a continued plan through Feb. If we decide she won't need it, a maintenance plan will be outlined for the rest of the year.

Reward system: If a smoking punishment is earned in the previous week, that reward is carried over to the next.

Week 1: If she goes the whole week totally smoke free, she earns a Bernard Callebaut package of chocolate from me!

Week 2: If she goes all week 1 and 2 smoke free, a trip to the zoo with me, as long as she likes, and she

The truth and the lies Meme.

So, I have read a couple blogs that have done this meme and I think its a pretty cool one. The idea is, I give you all 5 tales about my spanking experience, and only one of em are true. Ya'll get to guess, which of the 5 are true!

1. The most severe marks left by a spanking I've given was, one where I used only my hand.

2. I once bought a strap online, and the day I got it, I lost it.

3. I tried my hardest to give a severe caning, and leave some serious welts, only to end up leaving only a slightly red bottom the next day.

4. I've posted a spanking video I've made online.

5. I once got to give a good bare bottomed spanking to two lovely women at the same time.

Well, there they are folks! Stay tuned for the answers, and comment! Tell your friends to come by and comment!


"Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic till I'm gathered safely in
Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove
Dance me to the end of love"

-Leonard Cohen

Sunday, December 27, 2009

#1 Crush

/I will burn for you, Feel pain for you,
I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart,
And tear it apart

I will lie for you, Beg and steal for you,
I will crawl on hands and knees until you see,
You're just like me/

(Garbage, #1 Crush)

So, I thought I'd start out this post like my lil b does. With a song and lyrics. This particular song, in my "expert" opinion is very kink inspired....I wholly suggest picking up a copy! Garbage as a band, in general, has a few songs that have some very kinky undertones in their lyrics, and their lead singer, Shirley Manson, hot damn! I've had a crush on her since I was in high school! A scottish red head, that sings in an alternative rock band, with kinky lyrics? Yes Please! Lol, sorry lil b...... ;)

Aaaanyway....

Lil b is sick :( she's spent, like all christmas, pukey and exhausted :( I've given her a break from training until she's all better... Such a nice Dom, eh? Lol. she needs it tho, don't want my lil one puking all over her toy when she's practicing suckin! Lol

So, back to the 'ol grindstone after a much needed couple days off work. I'm hoping, in the next couple days, maybe right after New Years, I might be able to make my way down to see her. Its been too long already.

Well, I guess I should get back to work, wouldn't wanna look like a slacker! ;)

Friday, December 25, 2009

Second star to the right, and straight on till morning.

So, I haven't had the chance to call my lil b in a while. I miss her terribly. I am having a nice christmas with the family, but, I am looking forward to seeing her soon. Maybe sometime next week.....

Little b has been such a good girl lately, I'm trying to think of a good reward...

Anyway, merry Christmas all!!

J

Thursday, December 24, 2009

I can't believe, we're on the eve....

So, had a pretty rough day yesterday. Dropped the crackberry, big crack in the screen. Good thing I have the insurance plan. Still, $150.00 down the drain. I was all sick last night too. Fever, chills, and puke. Fun.

The big thing tho, my little girl opened up to me more than she ever has before. It was very difficult for her, and she was so afraid. I am still here for her with all my heart. I think she's going to have a little while here where she's going to try and pull back. But I'm not going to let her. I need her to stay as open with me as she can. Its going to put her outside her comfort zone for a little while. But I think she'll come to find its easier for her to be open than not.

She still has a punishment coming for missing training a few days ago. It will include a large enema with corner time, and a soapy mouth and writing lines. After that she has a date with the dreaded wooden spoon.

We've also discovered, lil b is a BIG fan of the cane! She enjoys it a lot, and I'm going to be starting a new blog soon about it. It will be a private one, and all who are members will have to be initiated in. It will be regarding enjoyment of the cane. I am going to be picking up a lovely length of lexan, and I may try and order a real rattan cane online.

I hope everyone has a wonderful christmas.

"our scars remind us that the past is real,
I tear my heart open just to feel"

- Papa Roach (scars)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Crackberry...

Well, I wanted to post, and I tried sending a little congrats email to lil b last night, but apparently the blackberry network was down. Stupid technology ruining my plans! Lol.

I am finally off night shift. But I don't think I'm going to be able to go see my little girl before christmas :( I have a bit of work to do today, and then I have to head north to visit family.

I hope all you lovely readers have a very merry christmas, and I hope you are all off santa's naughty list!

So, little b had some issues regarding the post I requested and I let her off the hook. We may need to have another discussion about communication, but I think she may have learned her lesson already.

Well, maybe I'll be able to make a more intellectually stimulating post later...

J

Monday, December 21, 2009

On the naughty list...

Lil b is in trouble again...the other night as you all saw, I decided to punish her for skipping training without permission. Well, tonight she was told to do a blog update regarding her impending punishment. she didn't do it. She may have forgotten, or she may have just let the time slip by, either way, she's gonna get it tomorrow...

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Decisions.

So I have decided little b deserves to be punished for deciding, on her own, to skip training. We have begun her on anal training in addition to her deep throat. This was started because during our last meeting, it was discovered that she is going to need a little practice on that "end". :) so I gave her a simple regime to go along with her 5 min of oral.

Well, she started it the day before yesterday and last night, she made the choice to skip without permission. I know she asked, but without an answer, she was clever enough to know that she should have done it. So, now to tell her. And I will have to decide, also, how I will punish her, and when.

I think this is one I will be taking care of in person. She can't seem to keep from getting herself in trouble...

We will be discussing her penance when she arrives home from the movies tonight, and her training is done. This will be an unpleasant but necessary learning experience for little b. She will learn to follow instructions.

"While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions."

?- Stephen R. Covey

All I want for Christmas...

No, I already have 2 front teeth...but a chance to visit my little girl sometime over the holidays would be nice...

I had the chance to chat with lil b, briefly, but I got to hear her voice! Lol, I must be smitten. Just the opportunity to hear her makes my heart smile...

So, last night she was a hurtin and tired lil girl. she had a bit too much to drink with friends the evening before, and because I had no service on loc, I did not get her message, asking if she could skip out on training. So she made the decision herself that because she felt yucky, she would be exempt. I'm weighing the options and trying to decide if she needs to be punished for deciding to go that route. Because we were not in contact, I am going to use some caution here, but if we were in contact I have the feeling I would have told her to do it. Here's the thing tho, I am very happy she did ask. And I won't be punishing her for that. I need her to be open with me and to discuss her mental and physical state so I can make decisions like this. However, the points making me lean toward punishing her are strong too. First, her illness was self induced. she made the choice to have too much to drink, and suffered the consequences the next day, so the fact she was hurtin doesn't really have any bearing on my decision. Second, I have been letting her off her training a little more frequent than I would like, and in order for it to be effective, it needs to be consistent. This is something we discussed, so she knows that its important she does it. And third, she made the choice to not do it herself. she did ask, which I am glad about, but because she didn't receive an answer was not carte blanche to do whatever she wanted. My lil one is a clever girl, and I think she knows that her training is important, and I think she knows I would have most likely told her to do it.

So I am going to be weighing these thoughts for a little while. And making my decision shortly...


"In its function, the power to punish is not essentially different from that of curing or educating."

-  Michel Foucault

Lonely...

Last night at work, my phone died. So not only was I without entertainment during down time, but more importantly, I lost contact with my lil b. It feels like its been ages since I talked to her, and its only been like a day! I'm worried that situations like this, that I happen to find myself in quite often with this job, whether I'm so busy I can't get to my phone, or I'm somewhere without cell service, or dead batteries, etc will begin to push away lil b :(. I care about her deeper than I ever felt possible after knowing someone for such a short time. She seems like the perfect counterpart to me. However, with being a long distance relationship, and having work in the way as well, I'm worried she's going to start to think its too much hassle. I hate thoughts like this. I'm not having a very good day, trying to deal with negative emotions.

"It's the simplest properties that will help you clear yourself of negativity ... The profound power of a simple prayer. The strength of a deep breath. The gentle guidance of good music."

- JEFFREY WANDS

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Distance makes the heart grow fonder

I don't know about that. I miss my lil one :(
I've been working night shift the past couple nights. And its been STUPID busy. So I don't have the opportunity to talk as regularly with lil b. I had SUCH an incredible time on Wednesday, and I'm still trying to process everything that happened! Lil b's bottom broke 2 wooden dowels that night! I am not going to go in to details right now, I think that night was too amazing to put into words. I feel like I'm suffering withdrawals from her. I can see the "L" on the horizon, and I'm not sure how to deal with that. Its been only a short time we've been together, and I don't plan on breaking that out any time soon, but things seem like they're on that path, and I'm not sure what to do about it, or how she's gonna take it. I wonder, lil b has never had a long term relationship, and I hope she doesn't drop me! Lol.
I hope to speak to her soon and I would appreciate any comments or suggestions regarding how to hold back, so as not to frighten her away....

J

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Antici...................pation!

I can barely sit still today! Goin to see lil b tonight after work, and we're gonna have a real date! Dinner, porn store, caning... Lol, gotta love the differences between vanilla dates and kink dates!

Its gonna be a short post, headed off to work! Woo Hoo! Hurry up day, I wanna get to see my lil girl!

"An intense anticipation itself transforms possibility into reality; our desires being often but precursors of the things which we are capable of performing."

- Samuel Smiles

Monday, December 14, 2009

Santa baby....

So I still have no idea what to get my lil b for christmas. I've decided I wanna get her something vanilla. Lol, not the scent or flavor either...she made me a doily. Lol, stop it! I can see you snickering through the interwebs! She worked hard on it and it turned out wonderfully! I will post a picture of it tomorrow, perched proudly atop the headrest of my car, like a woolen....crown! Lol she's a creative lil girl! And talented!

So she also mentioned a little something on her site. she experienced some pretty wicked pains when I fucked her, only when I pushed in deep. Not to make light of this situation, but I always considered my....."little man" to be of average length and girth. I figured I had enough to not be disappointed but not quite enough to be proud. Well as bad as I felt for her, I can't lie, when I thrust in deep, and she said "ow!" I might have felt a little bit of pride...but only for a second! I swear!

Then I read her update. And I was shot down, lmao, "shallow vagina syndrome". Seriously? SO unfair! Here I was, having daydreams of my lil girl talking with her girlfriends in whispers and her holding her hands apart, "this big!" lmao. Not so, my friends...

Well, dare to dream, right? Lmao

You know what happens when you assume? You make an ass out of you and me!!!

Well, I must say, I definitely don't have a case of the mondays!! Last night after work, I drove into calgary, and picked up lil b, and brought her back to the hotel! We had fun even on the drive there, as I had her pull her pants and panties down while I drove, and she played with her soaked cunt for me! We got to the hotel and got settled.

she knew she had a punishment coming, so we decided to get it out of the way. I pulled her pants and panties down to her knees, and started hand spanking her. She was very squirmy, and I don't think she was as prepared for the sting. I had her find the heavy slotted wooden spoon, and began to lightly swat her already red bum. However, that spoon packs a punch, and even with the light swats, she was unable to stay still. So I moved on, and informed her she would be restrained when I spanked her again.

Because I still needed a shower, I took her by the hand and brought her into the bathroom. It took some pressure, but I finally managed to get her to open her mouth, and I thoroughly washed her mouth out with soap. She was then instructed to bite down, and had to keep it in her mouth while she stood in the corner and I showered. Some interesting dialogue ensued during my shower, and I couldn't help but giggle at my lil girl's predicament.

When I was clean, and had given her some swats on the bare bum, I let her rinse. I love the desperate rinsing when its done, it shows she really learned a lesson!

she was tied to a small ottoman by her wrists and she laid down on a bigger padded stool with her legs spread. I cuffed her ankles, and attached them to the spreader bar under the stool. She got 1 min of wooden spoon, then 5 rod strokes, then another min with the spoon, another 5 with the rod. Then 2 hard min with the spoon, and she couldn't hold back tears anymore. Finished with the last 5 strokes and she was undone. In between rod and spoon, I took the liberty of stroking her spread cunt, and was pleasantly surprised to find her absolutely dripping wet.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Strike two, also!

So, although I've been working nearly every waking moment, I still have found the time to speak with my little girl as often as I can. And last night, she got herself into trouble.

Again, she failed to communicate her needs to me, and decided to not do her required deep throat training. So she again, was thoroughly punished over the phone. I am getting quite upset with this phone thing. I hope to be going to see her this week, and maybe if everything goes well, we'll finally get to meet again!

I hope that this punishment stays in her mind for a little while, and she learned her lesson. I did not want to be overly harsh, however, I hope she realized she realized she deserved it, and I like seeing her smile much more than seeing her cry.

Will keep you all updated!

Very funny lil one...

Last night I almost had the chance to head down and go see lil b, and go to a play party with her! Unfortunately this was not the case, as work, AGAIN, kept me from having the fun I wanted to. I think its about damned time I won the lotto.

I asked b to take a couple of pics for me. One with her face, for me, and a blog friendly one, with no face. Well as you've seen from the silly pic here, lil b decided to be a lil brat! Lol. And NO socks! Its WAY to chilly out there for that!

I miss her terribly. I'm growing quite fond of my lil subbie. I wish I had the opportunity to see her more often. Ahhh, such is life, eh?

I wonder, how many of my readers are canadian?

J

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Sad :(

So, yesterday, it looked like today I was gonna have an early day and be able to go see lil b. Unfortunately, this isn't the case. Its gonna be a long one again. I am all sad, cause we had the night all planned out, and now, no more fun. :(

Last night my little girl's cunt was soaking wet. She couldn't keep her fingers from out of her panties, and because we we're talking about all the fun we were gonna have, she couldn't help herself! I wasn't going to let her cum, but she knew just how to beg (she's learning!) and I called her. She was already sopping wet, fucking her naughty little cunt with her big toy. I had her put clips on her nipples, and fuck her tight little ass with her plug. It was not long at all before she was begging me to let her cum. I had her hold off for a little while, but at last, I gave her the release she craved. She even squirted! Good girl!

So its been a while since my last update. Long busy days, and a bit of writers block, make things tough! I never realized how tough it can be sometimes!
I may have little b send a blog friendly naughty pic to perhaps start following natty and padme's HNT(half naked thursday) post. But I may have to do whole naked! Lol.

When I do finally get to see lil b, she has some serious punishment coming, I made the rule to try to help her stop smoking that every drag she had was worth 5 rod strokes or 1 minute with the wooden spoon and 2 minutes corner time with a soapy mouth. She's got up to 17 min with the spoon and 34 min cornertime with the soap. We decided then that obviously it wasn't helping. We will think of a new stop smoking plan for her to begin Jan 1st.

Well, I guess I better blow outta here and get some work done!

"For every disciplined effort there is a multiple reward."

- Jim Rohn

Monday, December 7, 2009

*insert clever blog title here!*

Soooo, lots to tell! First little b is trying to quit smoking! she expressed a desire for me to help, and said she needs to just quit cold turkey, no slowly quitting, so I made the rule, for every single drag(not whole cigarette) she gets 5 strokes from the rod, and 2 minutes in the corner with a soapy mouth. she promptly forgot what was in store if she smoked, and this morning, she had 3 entire cigarettes!! Now, I'm not sure how many drags that equates to, but because she forgot, I decided to start the tally at 25. I have a feeling she will have some difficulty sitting, and may think twice when she has the desire to light up! As far as the mouth washing, we've made a little deal. she has a final exam coming up on wed. If she gets a C or worse, she gets a wooden spoon spanking as well. If she gets an A or better she doesn't have a soapy mouth coming. she has had some difficulty remembering to call me Sir, when necessary, so I may have to figure out a way to "motivate."

Now, here's something interesting! *shifts uncomfortably in my seat* if any of you have read past posts here, you will have seen my desire to re-experience an over the knee, discipline style, bare bottom spanking to tears, so I have something to help me understand things on another level when it comes to my understanding of submissive nature, and the feelings experienced while being punished. Well, b and I discussed this, and she (of course) is ALL for it. Lmao, we agreed that neither of us wants her to be the one to do it, as we believe it may make changes to our dynamic. However, we both also want her to be there for support for me, and to "supervise" and, she has told me she already KNOWS the perfect woman to do it! And she's meeting her for brunch this Saturday!!!! Eeep! Holy crap. Now I'M the one with butterflies in my stomach!!! Any advice?? Lol

I may be able to come down and see b sometime this week. Most likely thurs, if I don't get sent away to work, and we're gonna get a hotel room! she's gonna be one sore lil girl on friday if that happens! Lmao I should be careful what I say, because if things end up going forward the way I think they will, I'm gonna end up being one sore little boy in the near future too!!

Also, (I may get a lickin for this) I went on b's fetlife profile, checked out her friends, and I have a feeling I may know who "She" is... Is snooping a spankable offense?

Well, all your thoughts and advice would be greatly appreciated!

J

Sunday, December 6, 2009

sore thighs, sorrier girl. All better now...and SMUT!! Lol

It was a rough day for b. My little one was punished today, for her lack of communication. Little b, was unable to complete her tasks I laid out for her because she failed to tell me she was worried about some things. So instead of telling me and having her deadlines changed, she just decided to not do them.

I did not punish her for failing to complete the tasks. she was much too tired to complete them, and I would not force her to lack sleep. But she told me, without worry, that she could do it all.

This was not the case. So she was punished over the phone. I don't want to get into details, it was a very intense situation. She had to wear nipple clamps, write lines, corner time, she got a wooden spoon spanking on her thighs, and had to redo her deep throat training. A pic was taken, and there were tears. I truly care about her. I don't know how this is, but I'm starting to fall for her. I do tend to fall quick. But never like this. I don't know what to do! I want to take things slow for her, but desperately want to dive in with both feet.

she's doing so well and I'm so proud of her! she does need a firm hand, and a caring touch, but she's everything I could ask for in a little girl. I'm so proud to say she's mine.

Little b has also expressed her desire to please, and wants some pics put up. So without further adieu...

A tough job, but someone's gotta do it

So, last night b was given instructions to do a few things. Although she had a good reason to not do some of it, some of the reason she was unable to complete it, was a lack of planning on her part, and also she failed to voice concerns about her ability to do some of it in time.

One of the things I've tried to instill in b, is for her to know that I'm open to any issues she has with instructions or tasks I give her. I always want her opinion, and her concerns. Ultimately the final decision is mine to make, however, I will always take her concerns into account when making decisions. b failed to voice her concerns about these instructions, and therefore, failed to complete any of the tasks given.

So, today, over the phone, she will be punished. And she will be taking pictures as well. The biggest thing I want her to learn, is to tell me if she cannot complete anything, or has worries she won't be able to.

So I will post again, after everything is done.

J

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Aftermath and new beginnings

Today, I've had the chance to have a nice relaxing day due to the psycho weather here. SNOW DAY! Lmao. I have had to chance to chit chat with little b...

I laid out the instructions for her deep throat training. Its not too involved, but should be effective as long as she is diligent about it! It will take her about 15 or 20 minutes a night, and when we see some good improvement, I will move from her smaller cock shaped toy, to something a little bigger, and hopefully, I will be able to give her a "test" in the near future ;)!

I think that we have a good base for our roles, and sexual dynamic. Trust still needs some time to be built up, and we need to set up some starter rules for her to follow as far as the D/s side of things go, but she has agreed to be my sub/little girl officially! And she has decided to accept me as her Dom/Sir. Hopefully I live up to expectations and am qualified to meet the needs of my lil one. (what? Doms are allowed to be introspective and worry sometimes! Lol)

I received another requested photo of b just now. God, is a subby supposed to create such intense feelings of lust in her Dom? I don't know, I've never been so attracted to one particular person before! (lol I should be careful what I write, b reads here and I'll end up makin her head swell!) Lmao she sure makes my "head" swell!! :0 lol

b has another pic to do today, and every day for that matter as part of her training.

@hermione - thank you for the comment! And I did ask her, because the trust thing is still a work in progress, I didn't feel comfortable making that decision on my own. And although she said the decision was mine to make, regarding whether to post her pics or not, I felt and still feel she's not emotionally ready for that. I will post them some day. I want to be sure she is ready.

I have followers!!!!! Omg omg! How freakin kick ass is that?!

Ta Ta for now!

J

"Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future"

- Oscar Wilde

Friday, December 4, 2009

Good morning! Good morning!

All I have to say is WOW. Even though I am drop dead tired today, and even though going to meet little b yesterday added a little over 3 hours of driving to my day, last night was one of the BEST experiences I've ever had, seriously! I'm still so unbelievably excited! Wow. Wow, wow, wow!

Lol, ok, so juicy details....

We met at a nice little irish pub, b was already waiting outside, in piggy tails, as instructed, with a nice top that shows her "assets" as instructed! Good Girl! Uh oh....no skirt... Lol

I commented on this right away, her answer..."I just don't like wearing skirts" lol, so even though she already knew, I informed her she had earned herself a good, bare bottom spanking. We had a couple of beers, and chatted for what seemed like an instant, but ended up being hours! At first, both of us a little nervous, the conversation stayed very vanilla. But after our confidence grew, we discussed our feelings, our past experiences, funny moments, all regarding D/s.

We both have a fine appreciation for sarcasm, which peppered the conversation, quite liberally, lol. We both expressed our love for hockey, and distaste for each others particular fave teams. Lol. Go Oilers!

As the night wore on, I decided it was time. So, b was sent to the bathroom, and emerged a little while later, with clips attached firmly to each nipple, under her bra.

We talked more, and after a little while, the discomfort was really starting to affect her. *wicked grins* lol, I LOVED seeing her gorgeous doe eyes pleading me to let her take them off as she dug her fingers into my hands.

After a little personal sadistic enjoyment of her predicament, I escorted her out to the car. She lifted her shirt and bra for me to remove the clips, which I of course did in a timely fashion, with no playing or flicking or tugging at all! ;) lol

We made our way back into the pub, and continued to talk, I brought up a few fun subjects that gave me the great opportunity to see her blush! And it was decided, she would accept to receive her punishment right then! So, off we went! She took her lickin like a trooper! I used my hand for about 5 minutes, when I realized she is a squirmer! Her hand was pinned behind her back, and I picked up the hairbrush.

Needless to say, it was a glorious evening!! I got to chat with her tonight. No regrets! Lol, yay me! I must have made at least a somewhat decent impression...

Found out, I got some nice sensitive spots with the hairbrush! But she also told me my hand hurt more! Yay me! So much more happened than what I've posted. So much deeper than just a couple beers and a spankin!

"Set your expectations high; find men and women whose integrity and values you respect; get their agreement on a course of action; and give them your ultimate trust."

?-  John Akers

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Carpe diem

So, if work cooperates, today is the day. I wonder if b is as antsy and nervous as I am! Everything depends on how long this job today takes, and whether or not I get to stay close to home tonight, or, if they are going to send me away somewhere.

If the cookie crumbles the way I hope it does, I'll be back in Red Deer early enough to get ready, and head to Calgary.

Now, if everything works out.
We will be meeting at a little pub in the SW. b has a small list of instructions she has to follow (to kind of establish our roles early in the relationship, if that's what it ends up being!lol)
she is to wear a skirt no longer than knee length, no panties. A top that is a bit revealing(not too much, as she is quite "chesty" lol) and her hair is to be in pig tails.
I haven't told her this yet, but, she is to bring her small butt plug, and a couple clothes pins as well. When we have had the chance to chat for a little while, and maybe have a drink, she will be given a choice. I will send her to the bathroom, and when she returns, she is to either have the plug in, or the clamps securely placed on her nipples. If she chooses the clamps, my observation of her discomfort will dictate the length of time she is to wear them. However, if she chooses the plug...I told her that some time in the evening I will be making sure she followed her instructions. This means I will be checking to see she refrained from wearing panties. She has told me, she won't be wearing a skirt(this will mean she has a spanking coming!) so some time, I'm thinking at the end of the night, I will be undoing, and pulling her pants down to her knees. At this time, I will obviously be able to see if she chose to follow instruction and go without panties. Also, this is when I will remove the plug for her.

We have not decided if any punishment she earns will come tonight, or if we will refrain from play as this is our first meeting. If our feelings our mutual, and the desire to play takes us, I feel this will be the perfect time to give her a good, hard, bare bottom spanking. I will start with my hand, and if she's earned it, she may get more with the paddle style wooden hairbrush I have.

I have made the decision that b is not ready for me to post the pictures I have of her here. I want her to have the trust in me that I will not compromise her values or her anonymity. So I do apologize to all those who are looking forward to it, but perhaps in time...


"Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking.  There are too many people who think that the only thing that's right is to get by, and the only thing that's wrong is to get caught."

  ~J.C. Watts

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Time flies when...

Last night b and I had quite the experience! So, first of all, I received 2 wonderful topless pictures of her, and with those I came to realize a couple things. First of all, she is quite self conscious of her naked body, it took some great will power on her part to get up the nerve to actually hit send and give me those pics. Second, my little b has AMAZING tits! Holy crap! I nearly fell of my chair when I received the pictures! So, I will be posting one of those photos here in the near future, however, I am going to let her get used to the idea that although I will not compromise her anonymity, her beautiful naked feminine body will be exposed for all to see here. I need her trust that I will be careful in what I show, and what I don't, so I am going to wait a little while for this trust to develop before I post her beauty for all to see.

Speaking of trust...
Las night we had some fun over the phone! This was a night of many firsts. First time I heard b's pretty voice, first time I've seen her naked breasts, and the first time I heard her orgasm.

She was first given the choice on whether or not she wanted to agree to what I had in store. I did not tell her what I would have her do, only that she would have to trust me that I would not hurt or embarrass her. She agreed, and I gave her a list of instructions, and when she was ready, I would call.

b brought with her to her bedroom along with her phone, her vibe, her small butt plug, some lube, and a few clothes pins. When I phoned, b was directed to her knees, and over the following hour (which seemed like no time at all) she was instructed to use the variety of toys she laid out at my discretion. Before I called I had planned to bring her to the edge of orgasm, but to deny her the pleasure, and let her wait till our next chat to have release. However, I decided that the thing I wanted to teach her, wasn't so much that I wanted control of her pleasure(I do!) but instead I wanted to give her a chance to get a little more comfortable with experiencing pleasure in my presence and to enjoy giving me control over her body. she was audibly nervous, and felt a bit exposed, but slowly as the sensation of being on her knees for me, and experiencing the sensation of pleasure while under my direction. I was very pleased with her ability to follow instructions, and over that short hour, b came for me quite a few times! The sound of her excitement was too much for me to sit and listen, and I was able to bring myself to orgasm in short order as well! Although I felt the whole experience was very pleasing, and she more than exceeded my expectations, I do have one bit of criticism regarding the experience. This was partially my fault at not giving her the direction to do this, but I wanted to see if she would do it on her own. When we meet, one of her instructions is that if the situation permits, she is to refer to me as Sir. This is of course depending on who is within earshot. Last night while I directed her, I gave a couple subtle hints to have her use this word. However, she did not. I did not make any suggestion or rule that this was expected so I am not going to take any corrective measures, however, in the future, I may have to do just that.

I thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience, and plan on doing it again in the near future! And if things go well with my work, we may end up having that first meeting some time very soon!

"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."

- Shakespeare, from Hamlet

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Tuesday's child is full of grace.

Sooooo, conversation with b has turned to "when" we meet, from "if" we meet! I have the green light on posting naughty details regarding our conversations, and meetings. Also, depending on what she chooses to be the lesser of two evils, I may have some smut photos to post! I gave her the option to either pose topless outside in this wintery frostiness for a photo for my personal viewing pleasure, or, to take 2 photos that are anonymous enough for blog posting, but still feature her gorgeous naked breasts, and another, that I will keep as a surprise!

In our conversations, b has expressed interest in a couple training regimes I'd like to implement. The first is anal training. she has told me she enjoyed the little bit of anal play she has experienced, and if she is to be my little one I'd like to have her ready and willing to offer her ass to me whenever I want to take it.

The second is deep throat training. I do thoroughly enjoy oral, and I'd love to grab on to b's long hair and fuck her mouth. And as much as I do enjoy gagging, the puking....not so much. Lol, so, if things go as planned, we are going to set up some daily exercises to help with these two things.

There are some other things we've talked about that may be explored. Bathroom control, and perhaps removal of that being a private act. Orgasm denial and control, I think having the say on when and how and where she cums will be wonderful! The other thing is blogging. Not mine, but she has a blog as well, and I may have her post a little more often. Its been a month! I think something needs to be done there! Lol.

I really hope I'm not getting ahead of myself with any of this, and if our first meeting goes well, I hope things work out well.

b also has some wardrobe instructions for our first meeting, and she has already told me she won't be following them all! We've also agreed that not following these instructions to the letter will result in a spanking! So, I have a pretty good suspicion that she's gonna end up bare bottomed over my knee in the near future as well!

"Nobody succeeds beyond his or her wildest expectations unless he or she begins with some wild expectations."

? - Ralph Charell

I wanna shoot, shoo-oo-oo-oo-oot the whole, day, down...

So my conversations with b have been getting more interesting and fun by the second. And if I'm reading things right, I may end up having this adorable young lady bottoms up in the near future!


As much as I would like to post about some of the naughtier things we've spoken about, I have made the decision to wait for her permission to post regarding "us".

I will say, that if things end up heading the direction I hope they do, my little corner of the web will no longer be smut free! Woot woot! Lol. Nothin like some pics of a freshly paddled bottom to spice up the ol blog eh?

Well, I think its finally time to saw some logs here, gonna need my energy to continue the playful banter with b tomorrow! Lol, I have a feeling this girl is going to need my full and undivided attention, she's quick, and witty. And I sense a bratty side lurking not to far away....


"If you can make a girl laugh - you can make her do anything."

- Marilyn Monroe

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Bow down before the one you serve, you're going to get what you deserve..

Is it just me, or is "Pretty Hate Machine" by Nine Inch Nails the greatest kink album? Great music to fuck to, no cuddly lovemaking, serious down and dirty, sweaty, rough, fuckin. Wow, I must be havin some serious withdrawals here, when an album can be so very erotic and arousing! I've been having a very nice back and forth conversation with a wonderful little subbie the past few days. Let's call her.....b. She is adorable! Lol I threw out there the invite for a face to face meeting in a message tonight. I'm always worried I'm doing that too soon, or I'm going to scare someone away, or I'm being presumptuous that they would even consider meeting me in the first place! I hope none of the above are true, and I can get back in the saddle, here, without seeming desperate or sad, lmao. She (b) lol, seems to have a lot of similar interests, and I think I would enjoy spanking her naughty little bottom! I also have the feeling that she may enjoy being draped over my lap! I don't know if she's done anything in particular to deserve a spanking, but I have a sneaking suspicion that isn't going to matter much if she wants one as bad as I wanna give it to her! Lol. Will keep ya'll updated in the ongoing drama that is my life!

"Our desires always disappoint us; for though we meet with something that gives us satisfaction, yet it never thoroughly answers our expectation. "


Author: Francois De La Rochefoucauld

Friday, November 27, 2009

Looking on, she sings the songs, The words she knows, the tune she hums!

Well readers! I have officially de-lurked myself on quite a few sites now. I actually weighed in on pixie wells' blog! THE pixie wells!! http://spankingpixie.com/ I nearly fell over with the excitement of it! Its so odd to me that I'm finding it very difficult these days to figure out celebrity and fame. See, in my early teens, there really wasn't an "internet." At least not the manifestation of it we have today. So you only got to see your celebrities from afar. It was a HUGE deal to actually speak with someone who had been in a movie or tv show! But with the advent of blogging and twitter, I actually get to see the daily diatribe of my fave director(Mr. Kevin Smith) and his tweets are f'n hilarious btw, and countless others! Its not uncommon to actually receive a message from somebody famous! Unreal! Now to the other part of this. In my personal opinion, there are a couple of women out there that fall into this category of fame, for me, that may not fall into that same category for others. Amber Pixie Wells is one of them. This woman is among the elite members of a group of models and performers that I believe completely revolutionized the internet spanking media community. There are a few others, however, I don't know of many that are as truly fan friendly and real as pixie. So, for all your hard work, your continued dedication to quality and transparency, and your ability to be a professional and yet still make time to speak on a personal level with your fans, I salute you!!!"

"To grasp the full significance of life is the actor's duty, to interpret it is his problem, and to express it his dedication."

- James Dean

P.s. I've yet to hear of a canadian based spanking movie provider.....hmmmm perhaps a niche in the market?

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

You make this all go away....

So, I'm sitting at home, at last. And I think I might actually have a day or two off this weekend! I wonder what kind of kinky, exciting, naughty fun I can get into?

So, its now morning. Heading to work in the morning I pushed my luck. I figured, after work I'd hit the gas station, but, fate had a different idea. Ran out of gas on the highway. So, luckily I was within walking distance of work, so I stole a few liters from a gas can, walked back to the car, and managed to get here. Note to self, now that you know when it runs out, don't let it get there again!

I will be having a meeting here at work shortly, and then, because I don't have anything to do today, I may get to leave early! Woot woot!

Monday, November 23, 2009

"looks like someone's got a case of the mondays!"

Sittin in a pub in Grand Prairie right now. Sippin a bottle of bud, waitin for dinner! Work was rough and I SO earned this!

SHIT!!! Wrong button!

So I just finished a new post, and wanted to attach a picture. I chose the wrong pic, and hit delete, wait, I didn't mean delete the whole post!!! Stupid blackberry! Sigh...

Well let's see if I can remember everything I wrote...

Well I'd like to post some smutty pics however, the cupboards are quite bare at the moment :( any volunteers to "model?" lol. Hey, that's a good question to pose to the "army!" what would you like to see? No freebies tho, I show you mine, you show me yours! Lol.

So I'm stuck up near Dawson Creek now, workin away. Looking forward to hearing from the throngs of readers! Lol (keep dreaming eh?)

Sunday, November 22, 2009

The warm glow....

So I'm feelin it peeps. The glow of meeting like minded people, those you know truly are real, and gloriously bright with welcome and generosity. I have been speaking with a few new kin folk and I've come to realize how wonderful this community really is. *teary eyed with joy!*

So, that glow I mentioned earlier...I'm starting to seriously feel some kink withdrawals here. I haven't given a really good spanking in what seems like AGES, and after continued conversation with my guide to the local kink universe, cool guy Bud, I'm starting to peek inside myself and see that perhaps I may also need to really experience being over the lap once in a while myself...Gasp. Never in all my years would I have imagined I'd say that! Lol.

So, I shall pose a question to the ranks, the HUGE, MASSIVE, army of readers I've amassed...lmao. Ya right, oh, right the question...

Recently I've come to find myself craving that which I for the most part, only have dished out. In the beginning of my journey as a spanking enthusiast, I tried being the "bottom". And subsequently decided nope, not for me. However, as my taste in music, food, etc changed with age, also I have come to see, that perhaps this is something I may need to "taste" again. I need to refill the cup of experience, and I want to connect with future play partners and submissive friends on a deeper level of understanding. So, even though I know in my heart I am Dom, should I take a walk over to the other side and check out the shade of green their grass is? Lol. I have even gone as far as checking out F/m scenes on spankingtube! One in particular piqued my interest...it involves a woman known as Otkmom spanking a very naughty gentleman to tears over her knee...so, army, your input would be greatly appreciated here...

"Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side, hey sugar, take a walk on the wild side!". - Lou Reed


Ps "and the colored girls go, dododo, do , do, dodo...." (how do you not sing along with that?) wicked ass tune!

Well! I never!

So, Apparently I had been mistaken for one of those "unsavory" types on fetlife! Lol, when I created my account there I spelled discipline wrong, so that was taken as I wasn't who I said I was... Its been repaired, but thank you to the folks who set me straight!

Last night, I traveled 700 kms from sask to red deer, to get to my very first public gathering! I was INSTANTLY made to feel welcome and accepted when I got there around 12:30am. I was a little disappointed that most people had already left before I got there, however, the small group I did meet were warm and welcoming and friendly! I'm a little sad that the shy, self conscious side of my personality reared to the forefront and I didn't ask anyone if they would test the paddle I made on me! Also, I engraved the letters on the paddle wrong! Back to the drawing board! Lol

I was showed around the room, and introduced to way to many people to remember all their names! And as Bud lifted the sheet like a curtain to a big top, I was ushered into the dungeon! There were a few scenes going on, and if I would have tried, I could have seen some gorgeous nude submissive bodies! But, I wasn't sure how I would be seen if I was staring at boobs, like a drooling school boy!

Bud's bear shit cookies were delicious! emmyluv was so kind, and dressed in the cutest little ruffled skirt, the first time I saw her she was spanking a gentleman tied to a cross! (I wonder if she's the one whose knee I may end up over some day...with Bud's permission of course!)

A quiet couple played with some rope in the corner, and wyldwoman was being flogged on a very cool spanking bench! I was told the group doesn't own any of their own furniture, and I think I might try and build some wooden stocks for them!

I didn't stay long, as I had to work in the AM and I didn't wanna wear out my welcome. Pretty sure that isn't possible, but why chance it! I hope I can have a partner join me the next time I go, as I wished I coulda played a bit...

don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time. ~ Author Unknown

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Trouble

All kinds of spankable offencees goin on. Gotta get to Red deer! Speeding, driving tired, testing while driving, I hope I don't get any licks tonight! Lol

Update....

Things are not looking promising. Damn me and my big mouth! I SO jinxed myself! Is that a spankable offense? So now it sounds like I'm gonna have to drive from sask to medicine hat, drop my trailer, then back to location, pick up a different trailer, then drive to either med hat or brooks depending on how much time it takes me... Total lamesauce.

At least I was clever enough to drop off the birthday paddle at the gathering site so Mr cool guy and the rest of the participants can enjoy! Here's hoping I don't have to do this, and I can come meet all the wonderful peeps at the gathering.

Sigh, now I'm all sad. :(

"For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, 'It might have been'."

? John Greenleaf Whittier

On the road again...

So, sittin at a truck stop in Gull Lake, Saskatchewan and it sounds like this should be just a quick dump and run...so if I have enough hours, I might be able to make it back to the Deer to partay! I don't wanna jinx it though, but I'm so freakin excited! I wonder if I'm gonna recognize my guide to "the universe" Mr. Cool guy....

Friday, November 20, 2009

CRAAAAAAP!!!!

So, this situation could play out any number of ways, however, the most likely, is that I'm going to be 800kms SE of town on saturday night.

LAME! I KNOW! I'm being sent to do some stupid job 4 hours east of medicine hat tomorrow. And the job doesn't start till Saturday morning. Now, if all I have to do is transport some product there, I should be back in time to FINALLY meet the wonderful kink community including my super cool guide to the local kink universe. However, more than likely I'll be not only transporting, but operating a piece of equipment during the job, in which case, I may not be back till late sunday morning. Totally fuckin let down! Dammit! I am praying to the gods of the oil patch, puhleeeeze, let this one swing in my favor! I'm begging you hear? BEGGING!

Sigh.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Sweet recognition!

MY FIRST COMMENT!!! OMG! I feel so loved! HERMIONE RULES!!!

And she tells me she's bringing company with her! Well, there's plenty of room for everyone! Come in! Sit down! Make yourself comfortable! (if you are able to sit comfortably that is! Lol)

I hope to see you all soon!!

The splendors that belong unto the fame of earth are but a wind, that in the same direction lasts not long. [It., Non e il mondam romore alro che un fiato Di vento, che vien quinci et or vien quindi, E muta nome, perche muta lato.]

Author: Dante ("Dante Alighieri")

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The patch

So, I'm thinking about an idea for a book, I'd like to compile a collection of stories from the oil patch up here in alberta. I think it could be a pretty funny book, not to mention it would open a lot of peoples eyes to the constant struggle we all go through, working in this industry.

I think I might post my personal favorite one here later today! I might even include one with a little smut! Lol. I can't believe the BUD gathering is in 3 days! Woot!


If you have a job without any aggravations, you don't have a job.  ~Malcolm S. Forbes

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

OMG OMG!

I made my way down to UFA after work today! Had a BLAST! I bought rings and clips and buckles and straps! I built my own adjustable spreader bar, and hog tie rigging! Its all totally customized and adjustable to set up like 100 different ways! So fun! And the whole setup was less than 50 bucks!!! Unfortunately, the only thing I couldn't get were cuffs. There was some stuff that woulda worked, but like 70 bucks, and not perfect....hmm, any suggestions?

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Tears

So, I've officially accepted that when it comes to my enjoyment of a good spanking, I like it best when the spankee is crying. The more tears the better! I'm not sure why, but I love the tearful confession, the teary anticipation and fear, the bawling, howling, screaming even during the punishment, and the hiccuping, heavy breathing and cuddling after! Wow!

I wonder how many spankees like a spanking to be taken to that level? Is it an ethereal experience? Does being brought to tears change your level of "enjoyment?" hmmm, I wonder if I'll ever know....

Skipping!

So I missed updating yesterday. Busy busy! Will try to today!

Friday, November 13, 2009

Lucky me!

So, today is friday the 13th, not sure what to do in celebration of lucky day...hmmm, break some mirrors, do some under-ladder strolling? Perhaps path crossing of black cats... Aaaanyway...

So I definitely have the flu :( not puking, but fever and chills etc. Doesn't help that I'm outside pretty much all day. Temp here - (-13C) or (8.6F) lame!

Not to mention we just ran into some kind of issues regarding the equipment we're using. It never fails out here. Seems like 90% of the work out here is troubleshooting. I don't think, in the past 4 years in this industry, I've ever worked a single day where absolutely everything ran perfect. Even if it was a small thing, there was always something that needed repairing or rigging to get through the day.

I'm a little sad that my blog was supposed to be a chance to reflect on my life regarding my interest in spanking and discipline, but because I am single right now, its pretty much just a daily journal. Perhaps, in time, I'll get to share some much needed smut with ya'll!


The best sex education for kids is when Daddy swats Mommy on the fanny when he comes home from work.  ~William H. Master

Thursday, November 12, 2009

And now for something completely different!

So, first day in my new position is not all bad so far. I guess "demotion" was a bit strong of a word to use, considering I'll be making the same amount of money, with less responsibility. I'm still pretty pissed at my boss, and I still plan on leaving asap, but at least I'm not completely miserable while waiting for my next opportunity to present itself.

I think I'm coming down with the flu. I have no idea if its of the "swine" variety, but fever and headache setting in fast. Thank god for tylenol!

I love reading these blogs I follow, but there are a few on the list I end up waiting for their next post like a drug addict waits for the next fix! I have been lurking over at kaya's place forever, and as of late, I've fallen in love with "pixie's!" I know its so the pot calling the kettle black, but dammit girls, I need a hit! Hook a brutha up!


To feel most beautifully alive means to be reading something beautiful,
ready always to apprehend in the flow of language the sudden flash of poetry.
~ Gaston Bachelard

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programing.

Soooo, not 10 minutes after I finished complaining here, I finished up and went to see the boss man. Apparently, I've been railroaded by a couple of my co workers I didn't really get along with, and my boss believed them. I've been demoted. My 4 years in the oil patch have not been as lucrative as I would have liked, and I think I'm going to try and find a 9 to 5, where I'm actually in my own bed every night, and I work for a company where I'm actually appreciated as an intelligent and hard working asset, instead of just another faceless employee. I feel I have a lot to offer! My skill set and experience have to be worth something!

Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony
- Morpheus (the Matrix)

We break from this program for an important bulletin...

What is it with jobs? I think there's some kind of secret underground management fraternity that has very specific membership criteria.
Seriously, are there any jobs out there where those in management positions are not complete douches? I went in to work this morning, dragging my tired butt out of a comfy bed, only to find my place of employment nearly deserted. (also grumbling under my breath that I shouldn't have to be there on remembrance day.) I then proceeded to phone my manager, who told me "no work today, its remembrance day, remember?" so I went home.
Not 2 hours later, I got called BACK into work to do some menial testing that could have been done tomorrow by anyone! Wtf, over?
So here I sit, clad in dirty coveralls, filthy hands and all, blogging while I work. And to quote the great , Brian O'Halloran as Dante, "I'm not even supposed to be here today!"

Sigh, I need a vacation.

Today's Parenting Tip:  Treat a difficult child the way you would your boss at work.  Praise his achievements, ignore his tantrums and resist the urge to sit him down and explain to him how his brain is not yet fully developed.  ~Robert Brault

Lest We Forget

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

-Lt-Col John Mcrae

Remembrance Day is one of those holidays that strikes a chord deep inside me. Having had a grandfather who fought in WW2 is something I am proud of. I almost joined the canadian navy, and sometimes I'm glad I didn't, but sometimes I wish I had taken the opportunity to serve our country. Today is one of those days where we can all give thanks to those who gave everything for the freedom we all sometimes take for granted. Wear your poppies people!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Back to the grindstone

So, I'm not sure yet, but I think I'm gonna end up getting sent out to work somewhere waaay up north tomorrow. I better be home before the 21st...from what I've been told, by cool guy, its gonna be quite the party! A ton of guests, a ton of spankings, perhaps some boobies....hmmm, I better not get stuck away...lol, I keep saying that, but I seriously am psyched about finally meeting some real community people, I've had a couple of meetings, a few relationships, etc.. But I've never been a part of something bigger than myself like this! So exciting!

Did I just use the word "psyched?"

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

- Martin Luther King Jr.

Milla meets the paddle. Part 1

The moonless nIght outside, created an opaque thickness to the air around them. Normally he marveled at the way the moonlight caressed her body. Soft as royal silk, it would dance on the snowy pale curves of her hips and heavy breasts.

Her bared torso softly rose and fell with every quiet breath. Though the sun had yet to rise, Draden was up. He hated leaving the warmth of Milla's body to go to work, but the fields would not tend themselves. As he finished dressing, slipping his well worn boots on, Draden kissed her cheek and whispered "see you soon little one. Don't be late for classes!"

Milla was a teacher, at the small rural private school in their community. As the warm sun slowly broke the darkness on the horizon, her brown eyes fluttered open. Panic shot through her veins as she leapt from bed, blankets torn from her rising body "dammit!" she mumbled to herself, "I'm late again!" the clock on the wall showed 10 minutes to 8. Classes started at 8. Milla raced around the bedroom, dressing faster than she ever remembered doing in her past. She burst from the front door, grabbing her coat on the way out. She raced to town, and was walking in the doors of the school at ten minutes past eight. Books and papers a jumble of chaos in her arms as she ran through a thousand excuses she could tell the Headmaster. None, she figured, would prevent the heavy oak paddle hanging in his study from meeting her bared bottom. Milla's stomach did flips as she sighed and walked purposefully into the classroom.

Empty."Empty? Where is everyone?" She wondered. Suddenly realization washed over her, a desperate wave of relief. "the assembly!" today they had a public speaker doing a presentation in the gymnasium to the whole school! She had not missed any morning classes! "oh, thank god!" Milla sighed, and she placed the books and papers on her desk.

Milla left the classroom and walked the empty halls to the office. Headmaster Daniel's secretary was on the phone and Milla gestured to his office. The young secretary smiled, sympathetically, shook her head no, and pointed to the gym. Milla would have to wait till the end of the presentation to speak with Headmaster Daniel. She sighed, and plunked herself down on one of the chairs in the office and waited. When she finished on the phone, Barb, the young secretary whispered, "He's pretty upset, Milla, I tried my best to relax him, but its the third time this month you've been late..." and she looked sadly at the doomed teacher in front of her. Milla shifted uncomfortably in her seat, "I know Barb, thanks for your help, but I think I'm gonna end up facing the music this time." Barb smiled, "I know, I tucked a little pillow in the bottom drawer of your desk for afternoon classes." "thank you so much Barb, you're a doll" said Milla as she stood. "I'm going to go use the ladies room, the presentation should be finished soon."

As Milla washed her hands, she heard the clamor of the students making their way from the gym to the cafeteria for lunch. Her stomach did flips again as she walked back to the office, her palms sweating. When she entered, Barb called Mr. Daniel on the phone, "Miss Jacobs, is here to see you, Sir." the crackled voice on the phone said "send her in please, thank you Barbra." Milla was shaking as she reached for the door that took her to the outer area of the Headmaster's study. Mr. Daniel waited behind his desk for Milla. He remembered the last and only other time he had to punish Milla. She was still a student teacher then. He remembered how attracted he was to her, and although he was quite disappointed in Milla these past few weeks, but he was quite excited to have her on the way to his office this afternoon. "I'll have to tell Draden about this later," he smiled to himself. Milla's lover Draden was Mr. Daniels closest friend and confidant. They had been friends since childhood, and he had introduced the two of them when Milla started at the school. They hit it off immediately, and he knew Draden would want to know about today's events.

Milla's hands were shaking as she knocked on Mr. Daniel's door. "enter!" he commanded. Mr Daniel was not your typical Headmaster, he was young. Older than Milla's 23 years, but 30 is far from old. She always liked him. He helped her meet Draden, and she always saw him as a friend, but at the school, he was always fair. Never giving her special treatment, but he always told Draden when she did something wrong. Even if she avoided the Headmaster's paddle, she knew she would end up getting a bare bottom spanking with her hairbrush, or the wooden spoon from Draden when she got home.
Milla slowly opened the door, and with her heart in her throat, and eyes on her shoes, she said "hello, Sir. I'm sorry I was late this morning, and I'm sorry I missed the assembly."

"Not as sorry as you're going to be, Milla. This is the third time you've been late this month, and you know what I told you last time. Tardiness will not be tolerated in my school, especially for my teachers, who I count on to give a good example! I thought after we spoke last time, you'd learned your lesson. And from what Draden told me, the hairbrush helped drive that lesson home!"

Milla blushed profusely, she had no idea Mr. Daniel and her lover spoke of such intimate details of her life! "I wonder what else they talk about?" as the color on her cheeks went from pink to crimson.

"Well, Miss Jacobs, go to the closet, and bring me my paddle. Remove the undergarments you have on under that skirt, and bend over the desk young lady."

Milla, her cheeks burning, looked pleadingly at the Headmaster, then resigned herself to the situation and walked to the closet. Opening the doors, the earthy scent of the maple armoire filled the air. She reached up and grasped the heavy oak paddle from its hook. It was menacingly heavy, and solid. She closed the doors and walked to the desk. With signs of tears already forming in her eyes, she placed the paddle in front of Mr. Daniel, and she sighed as she reached up her skirt, and lowered the soft panties covering her bottom and smoothly shaven private area. She bent over and removed the panties, folded them neatly, and placed them next to the paddle.

As Mr. Daniel purposefully rose from behind the large desk, Milla hiked the front of her skirt up to her waist, spread her legs a little more than shoulder width apart, and bent her body across the top of the wooden desk. The cool surface of the wood pressed against her large breasts, and Milla shivered as she reached across and grasped the far edge of the desk, knuckles white.

To be continued....

Monday, November 9, 2009

Post after post after post!

Rambling on and on here. I wonder if what I'm writing is actually of interest to anyone? Do any new bloggers feel this way? I find myself wading through new posts and picture sets of the spanking models I follow, and have decided I cannot compare myself to their obviously much more appealing content! Perhaps in time, I will also have content worth posting that will make the 'ol mouse finger take pause and read a while. I do have some spanking and erotic fiction and non fiction stories I have been thinking about posting, and I'm wondering if I should just post away. I know, that I do spend quite a bit of time on literotica, and perhaps if I tried, I could get some of these naughty thoughts down permanently, instead of having them rattle around in the empty spaces up in my head! Lol. Well, perhaps off to bed, perhaps fingers to keyboard to get started. We shall see.

"The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another."

-Sir James Matthew Barrie

Ants in my pants

So, I'm sitting around watching TV, something I don't do often. I find myself vibrating, wishin I had somewhere to go tonight, somethin to do. Some days, all I want to do is cuddle up with a cup of hot Earl Grey and a good book. Tonight is NOT one of those nights.

However, tonight I've ended up in that situation, except instead of a good book, its tv, and instead of wanting to have some alone time, at the risk of seeming both desperate and sad, I just want to go out and have some fun! Lol. Well, as badly as I want to just erase this post, and not seem both desperate and sad, I will be honest and post away. Judge away!

Happy Birthday!

Ouchie! Lol, looking forward to sharing this new creation with the birthday revelers!

Update!!

So, having been in contact with the cool guy that originally invited me to the gathering, and has once again expressed a welcome to me to join them on the 21st. Yay cool guy! (you know who you are) lol. I think all this may have been just a big misunderstanding. I wonder how long it takes to have regular readers of a blog.... Having never "blogged" before, I'm not really sure what to expect, or anticipate. Although it was pretty cool finding out cool guy read (or at least made a quick glance) here.

the "lifestyle"

Lol, don't you love that word? "lifestyle" it sounds almost like some cult we're all a part of. I feel a little let down today. I had recently expressed interest in attending a public gathering of local kink enthusiasts on the 21st of November. However, now it seems like some of the locals are less than interested in having me attend. It is a long story, I don't like "friending" people i don't know, or aren't interested in on fetlife. One of the event organizers attempted to "friend" me, and i declined, both because i didn't know him, and because his profile didn't really interest me. I later received a message telling me I'm no longer welcome at this particular gathering. So, I messaged back to make amends, and hopefully I'm "re-invited." I'm not saying everyone is like this, as i had received the original invite from a really cool guy, and was so looking forward to going! It is a birthday celebration as well, and there was talk of birthday spankings taking place there, so as a gesture of fun, i have nearly completed a special birthday paddle for the event! Hopefully i still get to give it to the group!

Hmmm, i figured I'd get something off my chest too. About a week and a half ago, I met a wonderful young woman (lets call her BJ to protect her identity) and we arranged an "in person" meeting. We went to a wonderful little wine bar in downtown Calgary, and the conversation was unforced, the mood was fun, and it seemed to me, there was an honest connection there! The night ended with some heavy petting, and a make out session parked on some random side street near the river, under a blanket of stars. She was intoxicating! Although the evening ended with us stopping because of both fatigue, and the laments of "I don't usually do this sort of thing!" I still felt the evening was a resounding success! This would soon change. The next few days, I had a very difficult time getting a hold of "BJ" and it seemed almost like i had been brushed off. I am both sad and ashamed to admit i had used this particular disappearance tactic when things didn't seem to be compatible. However, I really did feel like there was something there this time! BJ was smart, funny, intelligent, and gorgeous! She seemed genuinely interested in me as well, and she had a deep submissive interest in spanking! I wish she would have at least let me know why she wasn't interested anymore, or if it was me, or she didn't feel the same connection i did....hmmm....well, to any person I've done this too, i deeply apologize and i promise from this day forth to honestly tell someone if I'm not interested!

The Raccoons

I love the nostalgia associated with my childhood. Flicking channels, I ended up stopping on "the raccoons" today! I wonder how many canadian kinksters know what happens in Evergreen forest when Burt raccoon wakes up? There has been a resurgence in my childhood television memories! With blockbuster movies such as Transformers, and G.I. Joe, it seems a ton of people share my nostalgic feelings!

Crazy in the night

Is it just me, or do emotions feel more powerful in the quiet darkness when the moon and stars take over control of the sky?
Not just any emotions either, fear, desire, pain, bliss, all the emotions of passion cloud rational judgment bringing some kind of chaos to life in twilight.
Laying in bed, thinking about who may be out there. Who else is staring at the ceiling, thinking about their own discoveries in this life. I feel I want so badly to share my desire with those around me. Show them the bliss it has brought to me, perhaps even find someone else whom has had their candle lit, only to be hidden under that bowl.

Well, I guess the darkness is a place best suited to self discovery, less distraction around you, helps your gaze focus inward.

"Night is a dead monotonous period under a roof; but in the open world it passes lightly, with its stars and dews and perfumes, and the hours are marked by changes in the face of Nature. What seems a kind of temporal death to people choked between walls and curtains, is only a light and living slumber to the man who sleeps afield."

Robert Louis Stevenson

Sunday, November 8, 2009

First mobile post!

Trying out the mobile posting thang! here goes nothin!

Bustin the Cherry!

well, today is day numero uno! I've been interested in the lifestyle of domestic discipline for about 15 years, and i have decided its high time to start a journal regarding my discoveries!

On the 21st i will be going to my very first kink inspired public gathering. I'm both super excited, and also, nervous! i have heard so much about the goings on at these meets, that i can't sit idly by and not go anymore! I so hope , that i don't end up working! I would very much appreciate any comments or advice regarding either the lifestyle, or my upcoming meeting! looking forward to replies!