Bow down before the one you serve, you're going to get what you deserve..

Is it just me, or is "Pretty Hate Machine" by Nine Inch Nails the greatest kink album? Great music to fuck to, no cuddly lovemaking, serious down and dirty, sweaty, rough, fuckin. Wow, I must be havin some serious withdrawals here, when an album can be so very erotic and arousing! I've been having a very nice back and forth conversation with a wonderful little subbie the past few days. Let's call her.....b. She is adorable! Lol I threw out there the invite for a face to face meeting in a message tonight. I'm always worried I'm doing that too soon, or I'm going to scare someone away, or I'm being presumptuous that they would even consider meeting me in the first place! I hope none of the above are true, and I can get back in the saddle, here, without seeming desperate or sad, lmao. She (b) lol, seems to have a lot of similar interests, and I think I would enjoy spanking her naughty little bottom! I also have the feeling that she may enjoy being draped over my lap! I don't know if she's done anything in particular to deserve a spanking, but I have a sneaking suspicion that isn't going to matter much if she wants one as bad as I wanna give it to her! Lol. Will keep ya'll updated in the ongoing drama that is my life!

"Our desires always disappoint us; for though we meet with something that gives us satisfaction, yet it never thoroughly answers our expectation. "

Author: Francois De La Rochefoucauld

Looking on, she sings the songs, The words she knows, the tune she hums!

Well readers! I have officially de-lurked myself on quite a few sites now. I actually weighed in on pixie wells' blog! THE pixie wells!! http://spankingpixie.com/ I nearly fell over with the excitement of it! Its so odd to me that I'm finding it very difficult these days to figure out celebrity and fame. See, in my early teens, there really wasn't an "internet." At least not the manifestation of it we have today. So you only got to see your celebrities from afar. It was a HUGE deal to actually speak with someone who had been in a movie or tv show! But with the advent of blogging and twitter, I actually get to see the daily diatribe of my fave director(Mr. Kevin Smith) and his tweets are f'n hilarious btw, and countless others! Its not uncommon to actually receive a message from somebody famous! Unreal! Now to the other part of this. In my personal opinion, there are a couple of women out there that fall into this category of fame, for me, that may not fall into that same category for others. Amber Pixie Wells is one of them. This woman is among the elite members of a group of models and performers that I believe completely revolutionized the internet spanking media community. There are a few others, however, I don't know of many that are as truly fan friendly and real as pixie. So, for all your hard work, your continued dedication to quality and transparency, and your ability to be a professional and yet still make time to speak on a personal level with your fans, I salute you!!!"

"To grasp the full significance of life is the actor's duty, to interpret it is his problem, and to express it his dedication."

- James Dean

P.s. I've yet to hear of a canadian based spanking movie provider.....hmmmm perhaps a niche in the market?

You make this all go away....

So, I'm sitting at home, at last. And I think I might actually have a day or two off this weekend! I wonder what kind of kinky, exciting, naughty fun I can get into?

So, its now morning. Heading to work in the morning I pushed my luck. I figured, after work I'd hit the gas station, but, fate had a different idea. Ran out of gas on the highway. So, luckily I was within walking distance of work, so I stole a few liters from a gas can, walked back to the car, and managed to get here. Note to self, now that you know when it runs out, don't let it get there again!

I will be having a meeting here at work shortly, and then, because I don't have anything to do today, I may get to leave early! Woot woot!

"looks like someone's got a case of the mondays!"

Sittin in a pub in Grand Prairie right now. Sippin a bottle of bud, waitin for dinner! Work was rough and I SO earned this!

SHIT!!! Wrong button!

So I just finished a new post, and wanted to attach a picture. I chose the wrong pic, and hit delete, wait, I didn't mean delete the whole post!!! Stupid blackberry! Sigh...

Well let's see if I can remember everything I wrote...

Well I'd like to post some smutty pics however, the cupboards are quite bare at the moment :( any volunteers to "model?" lol. Hey, that's a good question to pose to the "army!" what would you like to see? No freebies tho, I show you mine, you show me yours! Lol.

So I'm stuck up near Dawson Creek now, workin away. Looking forward to hearing from the throngs of readers! Lol (keep dreaming eh?)

The warm glow....

So I'm feelin it peeps. The glow of meeting like minded people, those you know truly are real, and gloriously bright with welcome and generosity. I have been speaking with a few new kin folk and I've come to realize how wonderful this community really is. *teary eyed with joy!*

So, that glow I mentioned earlier...I'm starting to seriously feel some kink withdrawals here. I haven't given a really good spanking in what seems like AGES, and after continued conversation with my guide to the local kink universe, cool guy Bud, I'm starting to peek inside myself and see that perhaps I may also need to really experience being over the lap once in a while myself...Gasp. Never in all my years would I have imagined I'd say that! Lol.

So, I shall pose a question to the ranks, the HUGE, MASSIVE, army of readers I've amassed...lmao. Ya right, oh, right the question...

Recently I've come to find myself craving that which I for the most part, only have dished out. In the beginning of my journey as a spanking enthusiast, I tried being the "bottom". And subsequently decided nope, not for me. However, as my taste in music, food, etc changed with age, also I have come to see, that perhaps this is something I may need to "taste" again. I need to refill the cup of experience, and I want to connect with future play partners and submissive friends on a deeper level of understanding. So, even though I know in my heart I am Dom, should I take a walk over to the other side and check out the shade of green their grass is? Lol. I have even gone as far as checking out F/m scenes on spankingtube! One in particular piqued my interest...it involves a woman known as Otkmom spanking a very naughty gentleman to tears over her knee...so, army, your input would be greatly appreciated here...

"Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side, hey sugar, take a walk on the wild side!". - Lou Reed

Ps "and the colored girls go, dododo, do , do, dodo...." (how do you not sing along with that?) wicked ass tune!

Well! I never!

So, Apparently I had been mistaken for one of those "unsavory" types on fetlife! Lol, when I created my account there I spelled discipline wrong, so that was taken as I wasn't who I said I was... Its been repaired, but thank you to the folks who set me straight!

Last night, I traveled 700 kms from sask to red deer, to get to my very first public gathering! I was INSTANTLY made to feel welcome and accepted when I got there around 12:30am. I was a little disappointed that most people had already left before I got there, however, the small group I did meet were warm and welcoming and friendly! I'm a little sad that the shy, self conscious side of my personality reared to the forefront and I didn't ask anyone if they would test the paddle I made on me! Also, I engraved the letters on the paddle wrong! Back to the drawing board! Lol

I was showed around the room, and introduced to way to many people to remember all their names! And as Bud lifted the sheet like a curtain to a big top, I was ushered into the dungeon! There were a few scenes going on, and if I would have tried, I could have seen some gorgeous nude submissive bodies! But, I wasn't sure how I would be seen if I was staring at boobs, like a drooling school boy!

Bud's bear shit cookies were delicious! emmyluv was so kind, and dressed in the cutest little ruffled skirt, the first time I saw her she was spanking a gentleman tied to a cross! (I wonder if she's the one whose knee I may end up over some day...with Bud's permission of course!)

A quiet couple played with some rope in the corner, and wyldwoman was being flogged on a very cool spanking bench! I was told the group doesn't own any of their own furniture, and I think I might try and build some wooden stocks for them!

I didn't stay long, as I had to work in the AM and I didn't wanna wear out my welcome. Pretty sure that isn't possible, but why chance it! I hope I can have a partner join me the next time I go, as I wished I coulda played a bit...

don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time. ~ Author Unknown

Trouble

All kinds of spankable offencees goin on. Gotta get to Red deer! Speeding, driving tired, testing while driving, I hope I don't get any licks tonight! Lol

Update....

Things are not looking promising. Damn me and my big mouth! I SO jinxed myself! Is that a spankable offense? So now it sounds like I'm gonna have to drive from sask to medicine hat, drop my trailer, then back to location, pick up a different trailer, then drive to either med hat or brooks depending on how much time it takes me... Total lamesauce.

At least I was clever enough to drop off the birthday paddle at the gathering site so Mr cool guy and the rest of the participants can enjoy! Here's hoping I don't have to do this, and I can come meet all the wonderful peeps at the gathering.

Sigh, now I'm all sad. :(

"For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, 'It might have been'."

? John Greenleaf Whittier

On the road again...

So, sittin at a truck stop in Gull Lake, Saskatchewan and it sounds like this should be just a quick dump and run...so if I have enough hours, I might be able to make it back to the Deer to partay! I don't wanna jinx it though, but I'm so freakin excited! I wonder if I'm gonna recognize my guide to "the universe" Mr. Cool guy....

CRAAAAAAP!!!!

So, this situation could play out any number of ways, however, the most likely, is that I'm going to be 800kms SE of town on saturday night.

LAME! I KNOW! I'm being sent to do some stupid job 4 hours east of medicine hat tomorrow. And the job doesn't start till Saturday morning. Now, if all I have to do is transport some product there, I should be back in time to FINALLY meet the wonderful kink community including my super cool guide to the local kink universe. However, more than likely I'll be not only transporting, but operating a piece of equipment during the job, in which case, I may not be back till late sunday morning. Totally fuckin let down! Dammit! I am praying to the gods of the oil patch, puhleeeeze, let this one swing in my favor! I'm begging you hear? BEGGING!

Sigh.

Sweet recognition!

MY FIRST COMMENT!!! OMG! I feel so loved! HERMIONE RULES!!!

And she tells me she's bringing company with her! Well, there's plenty of room for everyone! Come in! Sit down! Make yourself comfortable! (if you are able to sit comfortably that is! Lol)

I hope to see you all soon!!

The splendors that belong unto the fame of earth are but a wind, that in the same direction lasts not long. [It., Non e il mondam romore alro che un fiato Di vento, che vien quinci et or vien quindi, E muta nome, perche muta lato.]

Author: Dante ("Dante Alighieri")

The patch

So, I'm thinking about an idea for a book, I'd like to compile a collection of stories from the oil patch up here in alberta. I think it could be a pretty funny book, not to mention it would open a lot of peoples eyes to the constant struggle we all go through, working in this industry.

I think I might post my personal favorite one here later today! I might even include one with a little smut! Lol. I can't believe the BUD gathering is in 3 days! Woot!

If you have a job without any aggravations, you don't have a job.  ~Malcolm S. Forbes

OMG OMG!

I made my way down to UFA after work today! Had a BLAST! I bought rings and clips and buckles and straps! I built my own adjustable spreader bar, and hog tie rigging! Its all totally customized and adjustable to set up like 100 different ways! So fun! And the whole setup was less than 50 bucks!!! Unfortunately, the only thing I couldn't get were cuffs. There was some stuff that woulda worked, but like 70 bucks, and not perfect....hmm, any suggestions?

Tears

So, I've officially accepted that when it comes to my enjoyment of a good spanking, I like it best when the spankee is crying. The more tears the better! I'm not sure why, but I love the tearful confession, the teary anticipation and fear, the bawling, howling, screaming even during the punishment, and the hiccuping, heavy breathing and cuddling after! Wow!

I wonder how many spankees like a spanking to be taken to that level? Is it an ethereal experience? Does being brought to tears change your level of "enjoyment?" hmmm, I wonder if I'll ever know....

Skipping!

So I missed updating yesterday. Busy busy! Will try to today!

Lucky me!

So, today is friday the 13th, not sure what to do in celebration of lucky day...hmmm, break some mirrors, do some under-ladder strolling? Perhaps path crossing of black cats... Aaaanyway...

So I definitely have the flu :( not puking, but fever and chills etc. Doesn't help that I'm outside pretty much all day. Temp here - (-13C) or (8.6F) lame!

Not to mention we just ran into some kind of issues regarding the equipment we're using. It never fails out here. Seems like 90% of the work out here is troubleshooting. I don't think, in the past 4 years in this industry, I've ever worked a single day where absolutely everything ran perfect. Even if it was a small thing, there was always something that needed repairing or rigging to get through the day.

I'm a little sad that my blog was supposed to be a chance to reflect on my life regarding my interest in spanking and discipline, but because I am single right now, its pretty much just a daily journal. Perhaps, in time, I'll get to share some much needed smut with ya'll!

The best sex education for kids is when Daddy swats Mommy on the fanny when he comes home from work.  ~William H. Master

And now for something completely different!

So, first day in my new position is not all bad so far. I guess "demotion" was a bit strong of a word to use, considering I'll be making the same amount of money, with less responsibility. I'm still pretty pissed at my boss, and I still plan on leaving asap, but at least I'm not completely miserable while waiting for my next opportunity to present itself.

I think I'm coming down with the flu. I have no idea if its of the "swine" variety, but fever and headache setting in fast. Thank god for tylenol!

I love reading these blogs I follow, but there are a few on the list I end up waiting for their next post like a drug addict waits for the next fix! I have been lurking over at kaya's place forever, and as of late, I've fallen in love with "pixie's!" I know its so the pot calling the kettle black, but dammit girls, I need a hit! Hook a brutha up!

To feel most beautifully alive means to be reading something beautiful,
ready always to apprehend in the flow of language the sudden flash of poetry.
~ Gaston Bachelard

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programing.

Soooo, not 10 minutes after I finished complaining here, I finished up and went to see the boss man. Apparently, I've been railroaded by a couple of my co workers I didn't really get along with, and my boss believed them. I've been demoted. My 4 years in the oil patch have not been as lucrative as I would have liked, and I think I'm going to try and find a 9 to 5, where I'm actually in my own bed every night, and I work for a company where I'm actually appreciated as an intelligent and hard working asset, instead of just another faceless employee. I feel I have a lot to offer! My skill set and experience have to be worth something!

Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony
- Morpheus (the Matrix)

We break from this program for an important bulletin...

What is it with jobs? I think there's some kind of secret underground management fraternity that has very specific membership criteria.
Seriously, are there any jobs out there where those in management positions are not complete douches? I went in to work this morning, dragging my tired butt out of a comfy bed, only to find my place of employment nearly deserted. (also grumbling under my breath that I shouldn't have to be there on remembrance day.) I then proceeded to phone my manager, who told me "no work today, its remembrance day, remember?" so I went home.
Not 2 hours later, I got called BACK into work to do some menial testing that could have been done tomorrow by anyone! Wtf, over?
So here I sit, clad in dirty coveralls, filthy hands and all, blogging while I work. And to quote the great , Brian O'Halloran as Dante, "I'm not even supposed to be here today!"

Sigh, I need a vacation.

Today's Parenting Tip:  Treat a difficult child the way you would your boss at work.  Praise his achievements, ignore his tantrums and resist the urge to sit him down and explain to him how his brain is not yet fully developed.  ~Robert Brault

Lest We Forget

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

-Lt-Col John Mcrae

Remembrance Day is one of those holidays that strikes a chord deep inside me. Having had a grandfather who fought in WW2 is something I am proud of. I almost joined the canadian navy, and sometimes I'm glad I didn't, but sometimes I wish I had taken the opportunity to serve our country. Today is one of those days where we can all give thanks to those who gave everything for the freedom we all sometimes take for granted. Wear your poppies people!

Back to the grindstone

So, I'm not sure yet, but I think I'm gonna end up getting sent out to work somewhere waaay up north tomorrow. I better be home before the 21st...from what I've been told, by cool guy, its gonna be quite the party! A ton of guests, a ton of spankings, perhaps some boobies....hmmm, I better not get stuck away...lol, I keep saying that, but I seriously am psyched about finally meeting some real community people, I've had a couple of meetings, a few relationships, etc.. But I've never been a part of something bigger than myself like this! So exciting!

Did I just use the word "psyched?"

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

- Martin Luther King Jr.

Milla meets the paddle. Part 1

The moonless nIght outside, created an opaque thickness to the air around them. Normally he marveled at the way the moonlight caressed her body. Soft as royal silk, it would dance on the snowy pale curves of her hips and heavy breasts.

Her bared torso softly rose and fell with every quiet breath. Though the sun had yet to rise, Draden was up. He hated leaving the warmth of Milla's body to go to work, but the fields would not tend themselves. As he finished dressing, slipping his well worn boots on, Draden kissed her cheek and whispered "see you soon little one. Don't be late for classes!"

Milla was a teacher, at the small rural private school in their community. As the warm sun slowly broke the darkness on the horizon, her brown eyes fluttered open. Panic shot through her veins as she leapt from bed, blankets torn from her rising body "dammit!" she mumbled to herself, "I'm late again!" the clock on the wall showed 10 minutes to 8. Classes started at 8. Milla raced around the bedroom, dressing faster than she ever remembered doing in her past. She burst from the front door, grabbing her coat on the way out. She raced to town, and was walking in the doors of the school at ten minutes past eight. Books and papers a jumble of chaos in her arms as she ran through a thousand excuses she could tell the Headmaster. None, she figured, would prevent the heavy oak paddle hanging in his study from meeting her bared bottom. Milla's stomach did flips as she sighed and walked purposefully into the classroom.

Empty."Empty? Where is everyone?" She wondered. Suddenly realization washed over her, a desperate wave of relief. "the assembly!" today they had a public speaker doing a presentation in the gymnasium to the whole school! She had not missed any morning classes! "oh, thank god!" Milla sighed, and she placed the books and papers on her desk.

Milla left the classroom and walked the empty halls to the office. Headmaster Daniel's secretary was on the phone and Milla gestured to his office. The young secretary smiled, sympathetically, shook her head no, and pointed to the gym. Milla would have to wait till the end of the presentation to speak with Headmaster Daniel. She sighed, and plunked herself down on one of the chairs in the office and waited. When she finished on the phone, Barb, the young secretary whispered, "He's pretty upset, Milla, I tried my best to relax him, but its the third time this month you've been late..." and she looked sadly at the doomed teacher in front of her. Milla shifted uncomfortably in her seat, "I know Barb, thanks for your help, but I think I'm gonna end up facing the music this time." Barb smiled, "I know, I tucked a little pillow in the bottom drawer of your desk for afternoon classes." "thank you so much Barb, you're a doll" said Milla as she stood. "I'm going to go use the ladies room, the presentation should be finished soon."

As Milla washed her hands, she heard the clamor of the students making their way from the gym to the cafeteria for lunch. Her stomach did flips again as she walked back to the office, her palms sweating. When she entered, Barb called Mr. Daniel on the phone, "Miss Jacobs, is here to see you, Sir." the crackled voice on the phone said "send her in please, thank you Barbra." Milla was shaking as she reached for the door that took her to the outer area of the Headmaster's study. Mr. Daniel waited behind his desk for Milla. He remembered the last and only other time he had to punish Milla. She was still a student teacher then. He remembered how attracted he was to her, and although he was quite disappointed in Milla these past few weeks, but he was quite excited to have her on the way to his office this afternoon. "I'll have to tell Draden about this later," he smiled to himself. Milla's lover Draden was Mr. Daniels closest friend and confidant. They had been friends since childhood, and he had introduced the two of them when Milla started at the school. They hit it off immediately, and he knew Draden would want to know about today's events.

Milla's hands were shaking as she knocked on Mr. Daniel's door. "enter!" he commanded. Mr Daniel was not your typical Headmaster, he was young. Older than Milla's 23 years, but 30 is far from old. She always liked him. He helped her meet Draden, and she always saw him as a friend, but at the school, he was always fair. Never giving her special treatment, but he always told Draden when she did something wrong. Even if she avoided the Headmaster's paddle, she knew she would end up getting a bare bottom spanking with her hairbrush, or the wooden spoon from Draden when she got home.
Milla slowly opened the door, and with her heart in her throat, and eyes on her shoes, she said "hello, Sir. I'm sorry I was late this morning, and I'm sorry I missed the assembly."

"Not as sorry as you're going to be, Milla. This is the third time you've been late this month, and you know what I told you last time. Tardiness will not be tolerated in my school, especially for my teachers, who I count on to give a good example! I thought after we spoke last time, you'd learned your lesson. And from what Draden told me, the hairbrush helped drive that lesson home!"

Milla blushed profusely, she had no idea Mr. Daniel and her lover spoke of such intimate details of her life! "I wonder what else they talk about?" as the color on her cheeks went from pink to crimson.

"Well, Miss Jacobs, go to the closet, and bring me my paddle. Remove the undergarments you have on under that skirt, and bend over the desk young lady."

Milla, her cheeks burning, looked pleadingly at the Headmaster, then resigned herself to the situation and walked to the closet. Opening the doors, the earthy scent of the maple armoire filled the air. She reached up and grasped the heavy oak paddle from its hook. It was menacingly heavy, and solid. She closed the doors and walked to the desk. With signs of tears already forming in her eyes, she placed the paddle in front of Mr. Daniel, and she sighed as she reached up her skirt, and lowered the soft panties covering her bottom and smoothly shaven private area. She bent over and removed the panties, folded them neatly, and placed them next to the paddle.

As Mr. Daniel purposefully rose from behind the large desk, Milla hiked the front of her skirt up to her waist, spread her legs a little more than shoulder width apart, and bent her body across the top of the wooden desk. The cool surface of the wood pressed against her large breasts, and Milla shivered as she reached across and grasped the far edge of the desk, knuckles white.

To be continued....

Post after post after post!

Rambling on and on here. I wonder if what I'm writing is actually of interest to anyone? Do any new bloggers feel this way? I find myself wading through new posts and picture sets of the spanking models I follow, and have decided I cannot compare myself to their obviously much more appealing content! Perhaps in time, I will also have content worth posting that will make the 'ol mouse finger take pause and read a while. I do have some spanking and erotic fiction and non fiction stories I have been thinking about posting, and I'm wondering if I should just post away. I know, that I do spend quite a bit of time on literotica, and perhaps if I tried, I could get some of these naughty thoughts down permanently, instead of having them rattle around in the empty spaces up in my head! Lol. Well, perhaps off to bed, perhaps fingers to keyboard to get started. We shall see.

"The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another."

-Sir James Matthew Barrie

Ants in my pants

So, I'm sitting around watching TV, something I don't do often. I find myself vibrating, wishin I had somewhere to go tonight, somethin to do. Some days, all I want to do is cuddle up with a cup of hot Earl Grey and a good book. Tonight is NOT one of those nights.

However, tonight I've ended up in that situation, except instead of a good book, its tv, and instead of wanting to have some alone time, at the risk of seeming both desperate and sad, I just want to go out and have some fun! Lol. Well, as badly as I want to just erase this post, and not seem both desperate and sad, I will be honest and post away. Judge away!

Happy Birthday!

Ouchie! Lol, looking forward to sharing this new creation with the birthday revelers!

Update!!

So, having been in contact with the cool guy that originally invited me to the gathering, and has once again expressed a welcome to me to join them on the 21st. Yay cool guy! (you know who you are) lol. I think all this may have been just a big misunderstanding. I wonder how long it takes to have regular readers of a blog.... Having never "blogged" before, I'm not really sure what to expect, or anticipate. Although it was pretty cool finding out cool guy read (or at least made a quick glance) here.

the "lifestyle"

Lol, don't you love that word? "lifestyle" it sounds almost like some cult we're all a part of. I feel a little let down today. I had recently expressed interest in attending a public gathering of local kink enthusiasts on the 21st of November. However, now it seems like some of the locals are less than interested in having me attend. It is a long story, I don't like "friending" people i don't know, or aren't interested in on fetlife. One of the event organizers attempted to "friend" me, and i declined, both because i didn't know him, and because his profile didn't really interest me. I later received a message telling me I'm no longer welcome at this particular gathering. So, I messaged back to make amends, and hopefully I'm "re-invited." I'm not saying everyone is like this, as i had received the original invite from a really cool guy, and was so looking forward to going! It is a birthday celebration as well, and there was talk of birthday spankings taking place there, so as a gesture of fun, i have nearly completed a special birthday paddle for the event! Hopefully i still get to give it to the group!

Hmmm, i figured I'd get something off my chest too. About a week and a half ago, I met a wonderful young woman (lets call her BJ to protect her identity) and we arranged an "in person" meeting. We went to a wonderful little wine bar in downtown Calgary, and the conversation was unforced, the mood was fun, and it seemed to me, there was an honest connection there! The night ended with some heavy petting, and a make out session parked on some random side street near the river, under a blanket of stars. She was intoxicating! Although the evening ended with us stopping because of both fatigue, and the laments of "I don't usually do this sort of thing!" I still felt the evening was a resounding success! This would soon change. The next few days, I had a very difficult time getting a hold of "BJ" and it seemed almost like i had been brushed off. I am both sad and ashamed to admit i had used this particular disappearance tactic when things didn't seem to be compatible. However, I really did feel like there was something there this time! BJ was smart, funny, intelligent, and gorgeous! She seemed genuinely interested in me as well, and she had a deep submissive interest in spanking! I wish she would have at least let me know why she wasn't interested anymore, or if it was me, or she didn't feel the same connection i did....hmmm....well, to any person I've done this too, i deeply apologize and i promise from this day forth to honestly tell someone if I'm not interested!

The Raccoons

I love the nostalgia associated with my childhood. Flicking channels, I ended up stopping on "the raccoons" today! I wonder how many canadian kinksters know what happens in Evergreen forest when Burt raccoon wakes up? There has been a resurgence in my childhood television memories! With blockbuster movies such as Transformers, and G.I. Joe, it seems a ton of people share my nostalgic feelings!

Crazy in the night

Is it just me, or do emotions feel more powerful in the quiet darkness when the moon and stars take over control of the sky?
Not just any emotions either, fear, desire, pain, bliss, all the emotions of passion cloud rational judgment bringing some kind of chaos to life in twilight.
Laying in bed, thinking about who may be out there. Who else is staring at the ceiling, thinking about their own discoveries in this life. I feel I want so badly to share my desire with those around me. Show them the bliss it has brought to me, perhaps even find someone else whom has had their candle lit, only to be hidden under that bowl.

Well, I guess the darkness is a place best suited to self discovery, less distraction around you, helps your gaze focus inward.

"Night is a dead monotonous period under a roof; but in the open world it passes lightly, with its stars and dews and perfumes, and the hours are marked by changes in the face of Nature. What seems a kind of temporal death to people choked between walls and curtains, is only a light and living slumber to the man who sleeps afield."

Robert Louis Stevenson

First mobile post!

Trying out the mobile posting thang! here goes nothin!

Bustin the Cherry!

well, today is day numero uno! I've been interested in the lifestyle of domestic discipline for about 15 years, and i have decided its high time to start a journal regarding my discoveries!

On the 21st i will be going to my very first kink inspired public gathering. I'm both super excited, and also, nervous! i have heard so much about the goings on at these meets, that i can't sit idly by and not go anymore! I so hope , that i don't end up working! I would very much appreciate any comments or advice regarding either the lifestyle, or my upcoming meeting! looking forward to replies!