"Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more."

I do not believe I've ever been faced with a situation as difficult to deal with, as the cold, dark future I'm faced with right now.

I try with all my might to put on a smile, an apathy I try to put out into the world instead of the despair. I am on the edge of breakdown with every passing moment. I can feel my energy, hope, and ambition being sucked from my lungs by the vacuum of life. I hear her voice and cry out in my mind. I feel like every syllable she speaks drives the hurt I feel to new levels. Its so hard. Desperate to touch her, to tell her I take it back, to leave behind the life I know, to run from the dark places in my life to the warmth and light of her arms. But I cannot. To grow, to become the man I want to be, I have to fix what's broken in my life. I must clear out the darkness with my own light first. So that I can accept the love of those willing to give it. I hurt inside so much, and I must heal this before I can be the man I need to be.

"When sorrows come, they come not single spies, But in battalions."

I know the road ahead is going to be long and difficult to travel. But hopefully with the end of the journey, I emerge from the other side a better person.