"Hope keeps you focused on the future, and this continued focus perpetuates your denial of the Now and therefore your unhappiness."

I got drunk last night, and had a moment of weakness. I sent her a message, and expressed my need for her. As bad as it hurts, I cannot let her keep getting her hopes up that we will be together. I am going to call her soon, in my drunken state last night, i forgot to plug in my phone, so its charging right now.

Still constant in the back of my throat is that choking ache you feel right before you cry. Its been a painful reminder of my hurt. I am working on changing my place in life, and i have a feeling, this hurt will not be the last. I may be forced with some difficult choices in the near future, and I hope I have the personal strength to make the right ones.

"As long as I fear my weakness, I am stronger than when I trust my strength."

- IVAN PANIN