"No one plans to take the road that leads you lower."

Well, when I first heard this song, I thought it was ok, but after actually listening to the lyrics, I've decided its quite poignant.

Your Decision - Alice in Chains

Time to change has come and gone
Watched your fears become your god
It's your decision
It's your decision

Overwhelmed, you chose to run
Apathetic to the stunned
It's your decision
It's your decision

You feed the fire that burned us all
When you lie
To feel the pain that spurs you on
Black inside

No one plans to take the path that brings you lower
And here you stand before us all and say it's over
It's over

It might seem an afterthought
Yes, it hurts to you know you're bought
It's your decision
It's your decision

You feed the fire that burned us all
When you lie
To feel the pain that spurs you on
Black inside

It's your decision
It's your decision

No one plans to take the path that brings you lower
And here you stand before us all and say it's over
It's over

Time to change has come and gone
Watched your fears become your god
It's your decision

I can't help but feel some connection to what he's singing about here. I have sent out applications and resumes to dozens of places, and knocked on doors and pounded pavement. I've talked to a whole bunch of friends and family looking for some kind of backdoor way into a new career. I feel like now that I'm at the age I'm at now, I've become stuck following the path I've fallen into. I feel doomed to look to my past and wish I'd made some better choices, and now that I've made the wrong ones, my road to nowhere is set. I guess I'm having another melancholy day in a lifetime of them, with only the expectation that I have countless more to come.

I had a rough night last night. Everything seemed to be going well yesterday, and even got off location early, headed back to the shop to wash and found out they didn't have the info in the next job yet. So, I didn't get to load any product till around 5PM. Got home around 7:30 and I was gonna call b, but ended up crashing pretty much as soon as I walked in the door. I'm looking forward to getting my T4 so I can do my taxes and find out how much of my hard earned money ended up in the pockets of the Canadian gov't. Lame.

I saw that b was inquiring about acquiring a lexan rod on her twitter yesterday, and because I have so much extra, and I'm not really usin it at the moment anyway, I told her she could have it under a condition. I didn't tell her what the condition was tho, lol, just cause I know it drives her batty not knowing! ;) he he he I'm such a brat!

I said on twitter this morning that I haven't been blogging very often, and I need some motivation. I feel like in the doldrums I'm currently residing in, I've gotten complacent with many areas of my life. I've put on a bit of weight, started smoking again :(, and I'm not blogging or trying to better myself very much. Even though I'm a Dominant, I feel like my life could benefit very much from someone to give me a good lickin now and again to keep me in track and focused. Not to mention the sexual frustration I'm feeling as of late! God damn I need to roughly fuck someone! Lol.

Well, back to the grindstone! Take care all!

J

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it' is the slogan of the complacent, the arrogant or the scared. It's an excuse for inaction, a call to non-arms."

- Colin Powell