unwanted passes made by shower curtain...

"no, its not that i don't like you, you're just not my type, and besides, ive got a girlfriend in Calgary, and a shower curtain that i'm seeing at home..."

"WAIT, no means no! Curtain, i don't know you! I just stayed in this hotel, cause i've stayed here before and the staff is friendly and the food in the restaraunt is good!" "quit touching me!"

"just because you feel attracted to me, when im in the shower, and the hot water draws you in, does not give you permission to touch me!"

I feel so used....stupid shower curtain keeps creepin me when i'm all nekid an wet.

gross.....

J

The Boxer

In the clearing stands the boxer, and a fighter by his trade.
And he carries a reminder of every glove that laid him down...
or cut him till he cried out in his anger and his shame
"I am leaving! I am leaving" but the fighter still remains.
- - - Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel, "The Boxer"

so, ive been feeling a little bit beat down as of late, its getting harder and harder to deal with being apart from my little b. It hurts. I am sure glad I have some really great friends to help me through the rough times.

Ive been getting to know padme a lot better these days, having the oppourtunity to have some time to myself in the hotel room is both a blessing and a curse. it gives me the chance to talk to people ive wanted to, not to mention i LOVE having 3hour phone conversations with my beautiful little girl! However it is soooo unbelievablely painfully boring...

I got to chat with little padme on MSN for a little bit today. Very nice! She is an incredible little girl. Its very nice to be able to have friends i can trust to talk with about sensitive subjects...

Im excited that soon i'll get to hear my little girl's fave music! currently downloading some "Darren Hayes" music! I always love being exposed to new music!

OH! lil b is available to chat now! gotta go! ;)

"I don't give a damn
'Bout my reputation
I've never been afraid of any deviation
An' I don't really care
If ya think I'm strange
I ain't gonna change An' I'm never gonna care 'Bout my bad reputation"

- Joan Jett

Sneaky...

So, I don't hit fetlife very often, but the past few days I've been able to take a quick peek. And imagine my surprise in seeing the young girl that disappeared from contact, that I saw once before I met my little b! I haven't mentioned anything to her yet, and I don't know if I will, but I noticed. I will include a link to my post about it here...http://musingsofadiscipliner.blogspot.com/2009/11/lifestyle.html


Its odd, I want to say something to her. Find out why I was so easy to cast off. But, I know if I were in her shoes, I would not want to talk to me...

So, I've got ants in my pants, waiting to read padme's blog update about her date with A yesterday night! She mentioned on twitter that she's got some bruises from her play last night! Mmmm love hearing about how you little subbies get your marks!

My lil one didn't post yesterday, probably because by the time we got off the phone it was gettin late. We had a GREAT chat, about movies, and karaoke, and had some great laughs! Lol, the picture at the top is from one of the movies we discussed!

Lil b may get to join some other subs for coffee today, lol, we all know there's ALWAYS trouble when submissives get together without any Dom supervision! Best behavior young lady! ;)



"The parkin lot
Why not? It's so cool when you're on top!
His front lawn in the snow
Life is so hard because Scotty doesn't know!

We did it on his birthday..."


- Scotty Doesn't Know - Eurotrip Original Soundtrack

Late!

I've been trying to post every mornin, but I slept in today, was almost late for work! Lol.

Longer post later today...

The fine art of surfacing

My wonderful little girl has been having a tough go of late. I feel so torn. I care so deeply for her. She is so unbelievably special to me, and I feel its all my fault she's having such a hard time. I never want to let her go, I want to be her best friend, Dom, and lover. I will absolutely NOT leave her, but I feel like the fact that we only get to see each other once or twice a month is what's making everything so difficult. I feel selfish for wanting to keep her as mine, and I really want to know if in her heart she thinks I'm best for her. I selfishly hope she says yes.

My little girl has been trying so hard with everything going on in life, and I see that her plate has gotten a little too full. Her running schedule has suffered, and we've changed her smoking plan again. So, because of the weather, and the fact that we overestimated her free time, she will not have to run. As long as she still does a good physical activity for the length of time her running was required, she'll be ok.

The quitting thing didn't work out as well as we had planned either. She has done her best, but as we all know, cigarettes are a VERY difficult habit to break, so, she is now allowed to smoke if she is having a couple drinks.

She has tried her hardest to stay positive, and there are some aspects in her life and our relationship where she has no idea how proud I am of her. She's a very hard working little girl, and even with all the rough times she's going through, she's a trooper! Good work lil one!

I did have to give her an attitude adjustment last night over the phone, because she seemed a bit like she had lost her place a little when it comes to us. She has been forgetting to say "Sir" when she can, and still has difficulty following directions I give her, unless she has a reason. I know she's working hard on it, and I just needed to give her a little reminder to keep her on track.

I FINALLY renewed my registration, and because its been 14 days, that means 14 minutes of soapy mouthed corner time for me when I get MY punishment :(

I've made some WONDERFUL new friends in the lifestyle! Padme and Sir Anakin! You two SO ROCK! The force is strong with them. I will try, wait scratch that, "there is no try, do or do not" I will continue to keep up on their current events, and maybe update ya'll too!

"smooth seas do not make skillful sailors."

- proverbs

Darkness to light

Well, again here I am awake at the crack of dawn. I've discovered that, as long as I get to sleep early enough, getting my lazy ass outta bed isn't so tough! I know she doesn't feel like she deserves it sometimes, but I'm so proud of my little b. She's trying her hardest to follow her rules, and although she slips up a bit every now and again (as we all do!) she accepts her punishments and she knows I give them to keep her on track.

We've discovered that her sched for smoking and running have become difficult to follow. And I had a feeling they would be modified. Its ok though, I kind of expected it, and I hope she doesn't feel too bad or disappointed that she may not be able to do it all. Don't get down my little one! I'm here to help you push through the tough times, and celebrate your successes with ya!

I'm trying to think of a new way to try and develop a new training procedure for lil b to help her lessen her gag reflex, however I'm finding it kinda tough...ideas aren't coming as easy as I had hoped...any suggestions?

Now some fun for you, I will be receiving my very first, REAL adult bare bottomed punishment spanking from lil b next Wed night, and I'm not only finding myself very nervous, but I am actually kinda excited! How do you submissives process the fear and anticipation of impending punishment? Any advice on how to process the pain when it happens? Having never gone here before, these feelings are all brand new, and a little overwhelming! Comment please!

Once upon a time pt. 7

The Prince's hand rested on the small of pixie's back as he spoke. "young lady, I am very disappointed in your actions from yesterday, going into those woods after your worried mother specifically told you not to, was so dangerous! Imagine those scouts that ran into you had killed or captured you! We were so unbelievably lucky to have a happy ending here pixie....do you have anything to say for yourself before I teach you this much deserved lesson?"

Pixie was trying to formulate some kind of excuse, but knew in her heart there was no reason she should have done what she did, with a blur of tears already welling up in her eyes she said "no Sir. I am so sorry I put you through all that trouble, and I know I deserve this. Please Sir, teach me, so I don't get myself into this situation again."

The first 5 or 10 blows came in wicked succession and pixie's tears were streaming down her cheeks. Her right hand involuntarily swept up to block the sting, but as swift as she was Jesse was ready for it. His strong hand pinned hers to the small of her back as the slaps came harder and faster now. Her previously milky white bottom was now a healthy pink and she squirmed on his lap and tried to process the pain.

The Prince kept up the rapid pace until pixie was sobbing and her bottom was a very warm shade of red. Her legs began to kick a little at the end, and he would be taking care of that in just a moment.

When pixie calmed down after the hand spanking stopped the Prince stood her up and led her to the corner, placing her nose there. He put both her hands on top of her head, and she shivered as they slowly stroked down her arms, just past her heaving breasts and down her waist to the hem of her dress. Jesse lifted it at the back and twisted it so it would stay up and keep her stinging bottom exposed.

"Pixie, you will stay in this exact position until I tell you. Do you understand?"

"Yes Sir," she replied.

Jesse's hands lingered on the bare skin of her thighs for a moment longer, and then as he was leaving said, "missy, I want you to think about the worry you caused your mother, and how disappointed we both are in what you did. You know better. Think of what could have happened to you. I will be back soon."

Pixie's tears started anew as her mind reeled at the prospect of what could have happened. What would she have done had those men decided they wanted to rape her? Oh god... And mommy! She would have been worried sick! For the next 10 minutes pixie quietly cried as she thought of how she had let her mother down.

When the Prince returned, he was happy to see she was still exactly how he had left her. "let's finish this up sweetie." He said as he guided her back to the bench. He stood in front of her. "pixie, I'm going to do something that may make you feel uncomfortable at first, but I want you to do this for me."

"Yes Sir, anything." she replied

His hands reached behind her back and deftly, he unfastened her dress and slid it from her shoulders and it piled up around her feet. He reached again behind her and removed the rest of her undergarments. Pixie's chest was heaving, her eyes locked on his as he silently stripped her. Every few movements, his skin would brush hers, sending waves of electricity throughout her.

Jesse sat down on the bench and led the beautiful, naked young pixie back to his lap. When she was there, he pulled his right leg out, and scissored hers with his. He reached behind him and grabbed the bag pixie's mother had brought. From it, he withdrew the wooden spoon from pixies house!

Jesse reached across her and gripped her small wrist behind her back. Pixie realized she was completely immobilized. And suddenly felt familiar wood tapping her still sore bottom.

"oh PLEASE Sir! Not that! I'm so sorry! I'll be a good girl from now on!" she cried

"this is going to hurt, pixie. I want you to learn that you are told NOT to do things for a reason! From this moment on, you will remember this when you want to disobey, do you understand?" the Prince scolded, and she replied through fresh tears,

"yes Sir, I'm so sorry!"

Suddenly it began, and if there had been anyone near this room, they would have heard the young girl screaming and bawling as that wicked spoon rained down, over and over, skillfully wielded by the Prince.