"A glooming peace this morning with it brings. The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head."

How do I start a post like this. I love her. So much that I feel like my heart has exploded in my chest from the agony of what I did yesterday. Its as though I've woken up in the middle of the night, only to find, the nightmare lives on, taking over every part of life.

I wanted to tell her so badly, to stop me from making this mistake! Stop me from destroying the amazing thing we've begun to create.

But it is not the time in my life for love to grow. For now, all I need is a hole to crawl in, and hide away. I feel so terrible that I cannot handle being with her. I'm sorry I hurt you little one. I'm sorry I'm not going to be the one for you. I'm sorry I've ruined everything to try and cope with and change my shitty life.

Find someone. Find someone who can give you what I never could. Grow. Live. And most of all, be happy.